Is that you, Anonynoter? My ex-boyfriend? It sure sounds like it. Remember when you left me those notes years ago? Heh.
Last night, TFMS and I had our 3rd premarital counseling session with the minister whos going to be performing the ceremony. Oy, it was two HOURS long. But it was good. We talked through a LOT of stuff, and I have to say that TFMS is very honest about the way he is (hypersensitive about his kids, kind of grumpy, a bit critical, etc.). And I was completely honest about myself (a bit messy when it comes to household chores, sensitive to criticism, etc.). But we also had a lot of GOOD to talk about too:
–the alcohol resolution and subsequent reduction
–the baby issue and the fact that were going to try
–the sloppiness that has gotten better (well, here and there )
–the bond that has gotten much stronger between us in the past few weeks
He told us that he has noticed a definite positive change since the last time that we were together.
Later, at dinner, we talked about the session. I wondered if Jeff (the minister) had ever recommended that couples not marry. Or if hed ever declined to perform a ceremony that he might have had doubts about. I think Im going to ask him that the next time we meet.
We have two more sessions to go (this was our third session!). Its pretty intensive if you ask me (theres a big workbook that we have to work throughwith exercises and discussions and all kinds of goodies like that). And I like that. I know that TFMS hates it, but I dont care. It forces us to have conversations that we never even really thought about. It makes us look at our marriage as something more than romance and rosesperhaps something he didnt do in his previous marriage?
OK, in all fairness to TFMS, I should clarify. He doesnt hate working on a premarital course; he hates some of the really religious stuff in the book. And of course, working through the church and clergy, we HAVE to have some of that in our counseling. I know hes doing this to appease me, but I also know hes getting something out of it too. He would not deny that. Plus, I can tell that he kinda likes talking about us and he does ask questions, and its alllllll good.
Three sessions down, two more to go. 91 days until the wedding. Wheeeee!
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