Todays Obligatory Blue Thought (sorry, these are gonna come out alllll over the place until Im done):
Did you know that Id already changed my name? Not only in my mind. Not only did I practice a new signature (like schoolgirls do with their crushes), but I had a new yahoo email address created with my new last name. My Nike + iPod nano thingie (hi-tech pedometer that records progress on a website) name was a cute name that integrated his last name. Id already made travel reservations with what was to be my married name. Wait. Actually, he did. EXMS made our honeymoon reservations! And Id already planned for the new passport, driver license, business cards, etc.
Regardless, I loved that name and I am sorry that Ill never have it.
*edit: And how could I forget this?? I went to the grocery store last night…the one where he and I used to go. After I checked out, the cashier said, “Have a good night, Mrs. [HisLastName]!” ARRRRGGGGHHHH!
You know, everyone says its better to break up now than to go through a divorce. But sometimes Im not so sure. I feel like had we actually been married, we both would have worked for it it wouldnt be so easy to just leave, you know (AND we would have had an amazing wedding and I would have kept the cool name regardless)?
Right. I guess thats why he bolted now instead of later.
Got home last night to the clanks and bangs of movers next door. My neighbor is moving out because she just got married. I kid you not. The universe keeps slapping me in the face over and over. Its REALLY getting annoying and tiresome (like these entries, no?).
Operation Keep Yourself Occupied (KYO) is ramping up. I have dinner tonight with one of my college buddies who will be meeting me in Napa as well for the Non-Wedding. Im so happy that shes in town once a month for her job!! Not sure how long the project will last, so Im taking advantage of this while I can.
Then tomorrow night will be dinner/drinks with my friend Maria (of Crazy Tony and Maria fame). I havent seen her since her Superbowl party. Weve both had big breakups since then. Im dying to kvetch with her. So much!!
Thursday after work I will concentrate on me, me, me with a mani/pedi and more than likely some shopping at the Targhay or even some home stores. OR even some fabric stores .ideas are brewing!!
And then theres the weekend. I have NO plans as of yet. Must kick it in for KYO. I know this is kind of pathetic, but TMG had invited me to go to this amusement park with his kids and him last weekend, and then nothing much came of it. Im hoping they want to go this weekend. Not that I love amusement parks, but that TMG and his kids really crack me up and make me feel soooooo good! His daughter and I were talking about which kinds of rides we like, and she is like my roller coaster soul sistah! I like them alla lot.. I dont want to get too clingy, but Im really digging the time we spend together. Is that weird?
Better run. Forgot to write about therapy session last night, but maybe in time. It was very interesting. Remind me to tell you about it. And yes, of course I was solo!!
Until later.
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