…that will make you want to smack me around:
I have been pathetically sad the last couple of days (yes, while I should be having the time of my life on my European travels) because after EXMS came on sooooo strong, wanting to do everything it takes to get back in my good graces and back into a relationship…well, he seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth.
Yeah, he took me to the airport, was all squishy and lovey. Brought me my favorite travel snack (several bags of gummy bears) and a sweet card. Held my hand, told me he loved me, kissed me goodbye, watched me walk through security, waving and waving like the way things were before he left me.
He even sent me an email checking in on me on the first day.
Now?
Nothing.
So fucking pathetic. Why do I get so weepy? I can’t believe I have held on to the fantasy that he might come back. What the hell would I want to do with a guy who leaves, wants to come back, and tries–but uses the bare minimum effort.
He doesn’t want me back. He wants to play with my emotions, pure and simple. He want to ease his guilty conscience. He doesn’t give a shit about my feelings, it’s clear (yes, I KNOW…newsflash).
Good news is that by banging my head on this wall over and over and over and over and over again, it’s finally starting to make sense to me. I will get over this, I know. I will not, WILL NOT (!!!!!) tolerate this forever. NO I WON’T! The more he proves what a jackass he is, the stronger I feel (yes, even if I do get teary-eyed from time to time). I have given him a million-bajillion chances to make things right (or at least more right), and each and every time I get let down things become clearer and clearer and easier and easier to finally let the whole thing go.
Other good news is that TMG and I are still texting (at least HE cares–even after he’s finally found someone new to date), AND even Tony the Tiger sent me a couple of texts. I know, I KNOW I haven’t told you these stories. They really must be told, but I keep running out of time!
I gotta pack and get out of this hotel room. I am headed to the train station at an ungodly hour to try to catch the Eurostar. Seems the Chunnel caught fire a while back and the trains are running on funky schedules. Let’s hope I catch one.
Next stop, Paris.
Goodbye London. Goodbye (a little bit more) to EXMS.
Goodnight, friends.
Loading comments...