I’ll Make This Simple in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

Sept. 29, 2008, midnight
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Public

I was asked in my last entry why I’m not attracted to TMG (hi [Parliament]). Well, the very simple answer is that he is a LOT like EXMS, believe it or not. Not so much in features (though he is bald like EXMS), but in background. So to be blunt, I know that TMG is fucked up as much (actually a bit more) than EXMS.

The resemblances are pretty uncanny:

Both had bad mother experiences: EXMS’s mother died when he was 10–plus she was very unstable, moving him from place to place; TMG’s mother was a raging and abusive alcoholic–so bad he and his siter had to be removed from her home.

Both moved into weird situations with their fathers: EXMS moved to NY and in with an abusive father he never knew–and stayed until his grandparents took him to Puerto Rico (where they lived) to attend high school; TMG’s father was in the CIA and took him to faraway places such as Africa (where he went to high school) and India

Both married European women during their 20s, had children with them, and were divorced at around the 10-year mark

Both are very well versed in what to say to people and how to make them respond favorably: they are charming, funny, witty, and seem extremly (if not overly) “caring”

Both are kind of jealous

Both are kind of manipulative in their own ways

Both are very headstrong and opinionated

Both have an urgent need to always have a woman in their lives

So you can see that while I’m basking in the complete attention and adoration of TMG–he is amazingly patient with me and has given me sooooo much support, and dare I say LOVE? But red flags are flying like the United Nations. There’s simply no way!

I’m also wondering why I attract these kinds of people. For those of you who’ve read me for a long time, you’ll note that LDL has almost every single one of the same above bullet point qualities going for him too.

And those are the main reasons why I simply can’t let down my guard and be attracted to TMG. He knows this too. When I told him all about EXMS, he made the comment that they are both cut from a similar cloth.

The question is: how do I break this mold? How do I need to adjust my ways in order to attract a healthy partner who is RIGHT for me?

Last updated 5 days ago

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