I talked to EXMS tonight and asked him when he’d last been in the storage space, and he told me that it was the day he moved out. And I believe him for various reasons. I do believe that he left the lock off, be it carelessness or passive-aggressiveness, don’t really care. I’m just tired of the whole mess, and bottom line is, it’s my own fault for putting precious photos and other mementos in a storage space like that.
Those lockers are so easy to break into, and it could have been almost anyone who lives on that floor…or used to live on that floor (in fact, we had two storage spaces–we were squatting in the one that was broken into because we got another one on THIS floor when we moved to the “new” loft).
So blah, blah, blah. Lesson learned? Don’t put any valuables (monetary or otherwise) in places where people can SEE or be tempted to rummage through your bid’ness.
I have yet to clean out the space.
Took photos to therapy tonight. Don’t know what I accomplished with that. I guess Therapist wanted to see what the hubub was all about when I told her that my mother never (ever!) told me that I was pretty when I was growing up. She always used the term “unique”. Which is pretty weird for a kid to hear, I guess.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all about looks. I did get other forms of praise. But I was such an insecure kid. I did very well in school academically (which garnered me the praise), but I was such an ugly duckling and a little socially retarded. Not a LOT, mind you. But my insecurities gnawed at me while I did a lot of faking it (I guess) on the outside.
I tend to do that now with work and at parties, etc. I find that it actually works for me. If I don’t know how to do something, I pretend like I do. If I’m not comfortable in a situation, I try hard not to let it show.
But lately, things have gone haywire, and even my faking-it mechanism seems to have broken, so I’m struggling–especially at work. And I’m disturbed and worried and that makes it worse. In fact, I’m practically paralyzed. Or maybe I’m going through a bunch of motions. I did initiate a bunch of meetings today and they went well. I don’t even know if I’m coming or going! I need to complete my list for Boss tomorrow. I need to find my MOJO!
I’m tired. Still packing left to do. I’m wondering if I’m going to be up for adventure next week or if I’ll just want to be more relaxed in an attempt to press “restart”.
Guess I’ll cross that zipline when I get to it, eh?
Tonight I’m really grateful for:
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