RADs: As somewhat expected, I never heard back from Scott (see previous entry). Funny that I’m going over the conversation wondering what was the turning point. Wasted energy there. I’ve got other things going on. Not more RADs, mind you. I’m on hiatus in that department.
BLAST FROM GROCERY AISLES PAST: Do you remember the entry I wrote several weeks ago about the guy who approached me at the grocery store? It was right after a workout and I was sweaty and had no makeup and my hair was in a messy pony? I was shocked, but managed to give him my email address (didn’t really want to dole out my phone number). I never heard from him. No big shocker there, right?
Well, imagine my surprise when I encountered Mr. Shopper again this weekend at a bookstore far, far away from the grocery store, doing the same thing!! He approached me in the same nervous way (he’s handsome and the nervousness makes him even cuter), and I just looked at him in disbelief. I let him get halfway through his now familiar spiel before interrupting him, telling him that we’d met before. He looked at me, befuddled and said no we hadn’t, and I said yes…told him how approached me at [grocery store], and how I’d given him my email address, and I never heard from him. He insisted we’d never met before, and I insisted we had (I guess I look THAT much different dressed for gym vs. dressed for other stuff!), and then actually asked if he could still EMAIL ME??! What was endearing nervousness the first time around seemed creepy and serial-killeresque the second. This guy must “shop” for chicks every time he goes out!
RADIO SHOW: Finally, we have our first show lined up for Saturday (the 18th)! TMG and I have interviewed a few “experts” and were kind of shocked to find that the people we’ve been talking with are very interested in working with us on a dumb little internet radio thing! We haven’t had too much time to work on our ideas because TMG’s been away on a business trip, and I’m working on other things, sooooooo we’ll have to see how it goes…I’m obviously not too serious about this, and it feels like we waited so long to do this that I’m running out of steam and have other things on my mind. Including this…
LOVER’S QUARREL (W/O THE “LOVERS” PART): TMG and I are in a fight! I told him that I’ve been out on a few dates, and he is acting like a jealous boyfriend. We go back and forth regarding our friendship, and we keep establishing and then re-establishing our relationship. It’s weird, because he wants the full-blown thing, and I like being his bud, which is basically like being his girlfriend without the sex (yes, I realize how that sounds. Get ready for a stupid story).
He went away on his business trip, and we’ve called each other and sent texts and said our I-miss-yous, etc. I called him while he was flying back to update him on stuff, and I didn’t hear from him until he sent a text telling me how disappointed he was in me.
Basically, he was being a baby because he didn’t get my message and thought I “didn’t care”. UGH!! Really? I told him that I did call, updated him on things, and even invited him out. He just didn’t get the VM. Told me that I was “playing him” and telling me how “unbecoming” it was. Said alllll kinds of really mean things that he knew would hurt (even things I’d confided in him about EXMS that he knew would sting very badly). That fucker!
THEN, when he finally got the VM (turned his phone off and on), he tried to play it off and pretend he wasn’t mad. No way, man. You don’t say super hurtful things and then pretend you didn’t. I didn’t let him off the hook…and that started a whole series of stupid ultimatums from him! He told me to see him last night, and when I told him that I had plans, he asked me to break them, and when I said no he acted like our friendship was over.
UGH. I know this is just a game, and it’s actually quite funny. But I don’t trust him anymore. He showed his true colors with the hurtful stuff, and I know it’s his stupid desperate attempt because he sees me spending time with other guys (I’m not trying to flatter myself, I’m simply finally healing, I think.), but it’s obvious I opened up a can of worms by being the opposite of friends with benefits.
I’m not sure what will happen with the radio show stuff. My mind is elsewhere.
K. CHRONICLES: I like him, then I’m “eh”. I REALLY like him, then I’m not so sure. Truth be told, I’d really love for him to man-up and just take me. I’m pretty serious about that and almost ready to tell him so. I just thought my actions would speak louder than words, but I think this guy is much more into reading words than actions. Or perhaps my actions are completely confusing? That could certainly be the case.
Regardless, I had a fun weekend with him. There was an art show opening at the gallery in my building, and it was the perfect opportunity to invite him over to see MY life and kill three birds with one stone: my place, gallery reception, he could work a little. It was a blast! I had such a fun time with him. Got to see neighbors and meet more artists and show him off a bit. Oh man, did he look GREAT!!! AND he kept his “fucks” in check…I didn’t hear ANY all weekend (until he stubbed his toe last night).
At the end of the show, we ran into a new neighbor of mine who invited us up to his place to drink wine and look at his drawings. It was quite nice, and I got quite toasty!
THEN we all went up to the roof to look at the view, and I guess K. and I were making googly eyes at each other, so new neighbor left us. Good thing, because the second he did, we seemed to spontaneously combust into a fiery kissing session! Oh yes, steamy, wine-fueled groping!
Went back to my place where he was trying to find the train schedule (long story, he took the train to my place) only to find he’d missed the last train (riiiiiight), and I gave him two options: (1) I could call him a cab, or (2) he could sleep on the sofa. Sofa it was. I have a feeling that’s why he’s being so respectful…the message that I’m sending him is “no way, Jose” (ha! I find that funny because he’s Hispanic!), but I’m simply FREAKING OUT at the thought of getting naked with him, and yet I’m so horny I could die (what is wrong with me???).
So I went to his place last night to have dinner and watch Entourage (this is after we’d spent almost all day together). OMG, this is like the fourth meal he’s made for me, and each time I am more and more impressed. The guy should seriously be a chef. It’s embarrassing how food-retarded I am next to him. I will let him do alllllll the cooking in this relationship. Anyway. We were lying on his couch together after dinner, and he mentioned something about me taking advantage of him, and I was just waiting, waiting, waiting for him to make some moves. But I guess he was waiting for me to be the aggressor, and…well, FUCK! I don’t want to be. God, I must be soooooo confusing to him because I am so red light, green light. I’m sure I’ve gotten him to the point where if he does make a move, he thinks I’m going to completely shut him down.
I just need to get laid and get it out of the way. GAH!
THE INTERVIEW: The arrangements have been made for me to fly out for the big interview. But first, I have to do THE BIG PROJECT! I’ve been procrastinating, and now it’s time to get down to brass tacks. I actually need to get off of OD and get to work. This will take me at least a week to complete, and I have a little more than a week (I fly out Tuesday afternoon for a Wednesday morning interview). Much more on that later, I’m sure. I need to start solidifying my ideas, and then I have to get my portfolio in order. OY! I’m nervous about this!!! And this should be priority #1!! Let’s GO!
There’s more, but I need to get going. Some more things I need to write about but have run out of steam:
Later.
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