It now takes me two days to recover from a big night of drinking. Not worth it anymore. Plus, I spent some time reading online about the connection between alcohol and belly fat. Basically, your body works so hard to remove the alcohol from your system that burning fat gets moved further down the list…and the way I drank the other night, it was obvious that fat removal was so far from my body’s priorities. Plus, I was forced to eat french fries/grease on Friday because nothing else would satisfy my upset stomach and aching everything.
Yes, I had a good time. But I was drinking to drown my sorrows.
I think I was much more disappointed about not getting that job than I even realized. It would have been the perfect job, and I placed all my eggs in that basket–even looking online for new loft spaces/houses in the new city. I should know better than this, but I’m such a linear thinker that, for me, trying to go for multiple jobs at a time is a lot like trying to date a whole bunch of guys at one time. Perhaps easy and fun to many, but a struggle for me.
Which is a good segue for my latest RAD:
Name: L.
Age: 46
Relationship Status: Profile says single, but I dont know if that means divorced or never married. Will find out later, I guess. He does have a 17-month old little girl (he showed me pix adorable!)
Occupation: Internet Advertising Sales
Length of Date: a little less than 1 hour (he was between meetings)
What We Did: Met on Friday afternoon at coffee place in the building next to his office. I was a little late (5 mins) because I was unsure about parking and the exact location of coffee shop, but I think it was OK. Sucked that we were rushed for time.
He Wore: He was casual jeans and I cant remember the shirt (weird for me not to remember could be the hangover?). I was not on top of my game in the fashion scrutiny department.
I Wore: Dont judge, but I wore the same dress I wore to the party the night before was not feeling very creative, but I casualized the look with less dressy accessories (silver i/o gold) and a casual belt, sandals.
First Impressions: He hugged me when I walked over to him. Sometimes I think thats weird, but this time it wasnt. It was nice. Better looking in person than his photos. I think that personality played a big role there. Hes funny. Like, really funny and witty and smart, and that goes a looooonnnnggg way with me. I even told him that I thought he was more attractive than his photos, and he was pleased.
Convo: Great! Pretty fast paced because we were rushed for time, but again, that wit helped a lot AND put me at ease. I think the coffee helped shift me into gear, but we were very much tit for tat in the getting acquainted stuff and both had some funny stories to share (I told him about the guy who double-booked the two dates last week, and he thought it was hilarious!). He told me some dating stories and work stories and showed me pictures of his little girl (again, I think it depends on the situation I might have been weirded out looking at baby pix with a different guy, but I liked it this time).
High Point: The extremely smooth and easy conversation. And when he told me that he was bummed that our meeting was so short and that he really wanted to see me again.
Low Point: Having to go so quickly.
How It Ended: He walked me out of the coffee shop, gave me a hug, again told me that he was interested in seeing me again, and gave me a peck that I think was headed directly for my lips, but landed on the side of them because I barely turned my head! That was the only awkward moment, because I wasnt sure about where he was going
Chances Ill See Him Again: Unless he backs out, 100%. He had to rush back to his office for a conference call, and called me as soon as it was over to set a date for meeting again. Right now, were looking at next Thursday night.
It’s funny. I try to get off of the dating site, and every time I do, it seems like someone has written to me that looks interesting.
And I know what you’re thinking: But Ginger, what about K.? And I thought you said you couldn’t juggle more than one guy at a time?
You’re right. I can’t quite explain that part. I don’t think I feel like I’m juggling just yet. I think the juggling part would come in IF I were to start dating someone else in addition to K. THAT’S what I don’t think I could do.
Plus, it would be super shitty to do that to K. But here’s the thing about K.: I like him a lot, but more so in certain settings.
For example, K. came to the open loft party on Thursday. He brought some of his magazines with him and was able to do a bunch of networking with many of the people who came through (I would estimate at least 150 people came through the loft). I find his stature extremely attractive. I love to watch him do business. I love that he’s very well connected and communicates easily with practically everyone.
But alone with him, I’m closed. Our communication is so-so. I’m not as attracted to him. I don’t feel passionate about him in a one-on-one setting. I thought that sleeping with him might alleviate that, but if anything, it’s amplified my ambivalence.
That bums me out. I don’t know how much longer I can keep it up. And I think he’s wondering what’s up with me.
Well, I know that he knows I’ve been down lately. He’s knows that I’m disappointed with the job thing, and he knows that I’m still pretty heartbroken. And he’s gentle with me in that respect, but I’m sure he can only take so much.
Yesterday was kind of tough because it was 08/08. Had EXMS and I gotten married it would have been our One Year Anniversary. I know, I know…it DIDN’T HAPPEN, but I was still kinda bluesy and even a bit…sassy?
So I told K. what was going on with me, and he invited me over to just chill, and I did. He was sweet to me. We just watched TV and he soothed me by rubbing my head and playing with my hair (my favorite!), and when we got really tired, he took me to bed. But he was gentle and didn’t even try to get in my panties, and I was thankful.
Why am I so eh with him? I do like him. But I feel badly because I’m not squishy with him. Like, he’s fairly affectionate with me (and I LOVE that), but I’m not so much with him.
Okay. Must ponder all of this later. I just got a last-minute brunch invitation, and I’m not one to pass up Sunday brunch!
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