Last night was fun.
I met my friend A. in the nearby city at around 5:00. Her event started at 6, so that gave us time to say our hellos and she made introductions and gave me my poker dealer assignment (it was a poker run, so all I had to do was hand out one cared to each player. Easy, right?). A. then took me to another area where she said that there was someone she wanted me to meet…and that it wasn’t a set-up, but she just LOVES this guy. He’s cool and handsome and just happens to be the DJ for the event.
She didn’t even give me enough time to get nervous, because as soon as she said it, we walked right into the guy! His name is Jeff, and she’s right, he is very cool, very handsome, very suave, and just happens to live VERY close to me!! Found out during our introductions that he lives just a few blocks away!
I actually thought that he was TOO cool for me (you know the type: exclusive, aloof, DJ snob), but he started asking me a bunch of questions and A. left us to talk while she ran off and got some other things ready. It was when she left us that I got nervous! But I hope I came across as somewhat intelligent and normal.
Then I had to go to my poker station. That part was not so great. This event was for a Young Lawyers group, and I’ll be damned if most of them didn’t try to CHEAT!!! I know it was a dumb game and all, but those little shits (excuse me, this is not a jab on lawyers per se…just these particular young lawyers!) did everything they could to trick me and trade their cards with each other (we marked them so they couldn’t do this, yet they still tried), and to put their cards back so they could make another pick. Sheesh. I actually asked one of the cocky little bastards where his morals were, and he was all, “we’re attorneys…heeheehhee.”
Ick.
But that part was over quickly, thank goodness, and I got to spend the rest of the evening/night catching up with A. One of her friends joined us for a glass of wine (A. is 4 months pregnant and her doctor recommended 2 glasses of wine per week–sweet!) and some laughs.
I spent the night with A. and that was great, but this morning I woke up with the most severe cramps. I knew it was about that time, but I just wonder if sleeping in the same bed with super pregnancy hormones didn’t do something to me. My body adjusts almost instantly to any woman I hang out with (it’s pretty amazing, actually).
I had to leave around 8am because I had an appointment this morning back in [my city] and I wasn’t sure how long it would take in traffic. But by the time I said my goodbyes to A., I thought I was going to double over and die.
From the time I left her room, walked down the hall, down the elevator and to my car, I was in excruciating PAIN! In fact, I got chills, started dripping sweat, and even dry heaved on the elevator! It was all I could do to hold back. AND, when I finally got outside and walked to my car, I was ready to let things fly! At least I was outside and I don’t think I was within view of anyone.
Luckily, nothing. At that time. So I got in my car and started down the road, but my stomach started lurching again right before I got on the interstate. I knew I needed to stop. Immediately. I drove around for about 5 minutes and finally found a Subway sandwich shop that was open–thank GOD! Not a moment too soon. I raced to the bathroom. Not pretty! Sweating and heaving and bleeding EVERYWHERE! I’m sorry for the visual, but DAMN people!!! What the F?!
And don’t worry. I left the place as clean as I found it, but uhhhggghhh! Not pretty. I purchased a soda to help settle my stomach and back down the road I went.
The whole hour drive to my meeting I was thinking, why…WHY does something that comes so naturally to the female human body have to HURT so much?! If it’s completely something that’s supposed to happen every single month for a good portion of our lives, then why is it so painful?? Why does it make me physically ILL? And no, this doesn’t happen every month. So why does it go so smoothly sometimes and then all hell breaks loose other times?
I’m not sure how I made it to my meeting, but I did with 2 minutes to spare.
Speaking of spare, I gotta go again. It’s time for my gym class and I don’t want to miss today (ladyparts be damned!).
Sorry for my quick departure! *waves goodbye*
From Whole Foods, The Buddha Hand
* EDIT: Can’t believe I got so off track that I forgot this MAJOR chunk of the story of last night! After the poker run debacle, I went back to help finish up the party where Jeff the DJ was closing up shop. He got all of his equipment packed away and quickly handed me his card and said that we should go have coffee together soon, seeing as we’re neighbors and all! Yessssss!
Ok, bye!
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