PIC OF THE DAY!
You know Spring is practically here when the tulips arrive! I got a bunch of tulips for CC’s visit, and then I got this bunch of tulips and irises from Capt K.
TODAY…
1. Thankful for this time to relax, get organized, and prepare for the NEW GIG!
2. Thankful that I’m starting to see the light…things feel so much clearer lately. I think it has to do with the fact that I’m getting a fresh start.
3. So very thankful for my friends who always seem to have the voice of reason. I’m always thankful for thoughtful feedback.
4. Thankful for the most gorgeous sunrise this morning.
5. Thankful for this bucket of coffee.
I’m back!!
From what? I don’t know. A haze, I guess. I’m just starting to feel like I’m getting back on track. I feel like I’m getting this amazing fresh new start. And all it’s taking is this brand, spanking new job to really make me feel jump started. I haven’t felt this great in a long, long, long time!
I have lots of plans. Not really exciting plans, but plans nonetheless. Like, getting back on a schedule, for one thing. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate having a schedule. And not that I have to have everything in a neat, clean timeframe…I know I will be adding lots of travel to the mix and other things, but there will be a plan: a plan to get back on track financially; a plan to get back to my regular exercise routine (and eating/drinking habits–whew!); a plan to return to some sense of normalcy.
Monday will be here soon! For now, I’m getting organized. Have to organize my closet. I have some new work clothes and need to see everything that I can put together in interesting ways. Figuring out how I can accessorize things. Need to have this stuff figured out for easy dressing in the mornings.
And I’m even getting organized in other ways. Mentally prepping for all the new things that are headed my way (CN, I know I owe you an email…one on the way!).
So. Wondering what happened over the weekend? How did Friday night go with CC?
Well. It was fine. Good. Strange.
I spent a good deal of the day stressing over getting the space in order and shopping for snacks and some kind of dinner. It turned out to be a rainy night, so instead of going out to eat (like I wanted), we decided to stay in and do the events here in the building. And that’s fine. I just wasn’t really prepared to make dinner (which is SUPER stressful to someone who is not a particularly decent cook–uh, like me).
By the time he got here I was still rushing around, but feeling pretty good. He brought over some amazing wines (including a VERY special bottle of Champagne he’d been saving to celebrate with me!). Yummmmy!
I had a spread of baked brie, French bread, fruits, hummus, veggies, etc. all out, lit a bunch of candles, and the sky was just perfect with twinkling lights.
CC was impressed. I had a feeling he would be.
We ended up going to two events. The first one was my friend’s husband’s deal. It was some kind of storytelling thing that, while I’m sure was awesome, wasn’t something that CC or I was interested in for that evening. We walked in and walked out.
No, I was much more interested in the Fall 2010 fashion show that was being held in the building. It was the debut of a kinda famous new local designer who opted out of NY Fashion Week to instead introduce her line here. It was a sold-out, standing room only event, so when we got to the front, I told CC to just act like he knew what he was doing, and we walked right in!
Saw a bunch of industry people (I wish I could tell, but I need to stay anonymous here for obvious reasons), and lots of other people I got to introduce to CC. I felt like a big shot! It was a blast, the show was phenomenal, and we had a great time!!
Then, back up to my loft where we consumed more wine (delicious white and red Burgundies!), a couple of kinds of soups and salad and more snacks.
The big disappointment came when it was time for some lovin’. I mean, you know we’re still not doing the DEED, right? And the reason for that is that he just isn’t quite there with regards to a relationship. Yada yada. You know it’s been that way for quite a while now.
So. I’m tired of it. Let’s just say, the night was anti-climactic and I fell asleep while he stayed up and watched some TV and then got into my bed, hogged it, and SNORED all night.
And don’t say, “I told you so.”
Really, I’m just now discovering that I don’t want to put up with it any longer. I mean, he gets all the benefits of having a girlfriend (because I LET him) without having to be my boyfriend. And I have been fine and okay with it up until now.
I just had to get there by myself. After Friday night, the light went off (on?). Yeah, I still like him. But no, I’m NOT his girlfriend and I more than likely never will be. And at this point, even if he asked me tomorrow if I’d be his GF, I don’t think I would say yes.
I’m cool with it. I’m not heartbroken by any means. I’m really glad we met, and I think we were brought into each others lives for a reason. I’m no longer utterly shattered about EXMS. I think I’ve turned into a functioning human being since I’ve met CC. I’m not giving him complete credit for that, but I think that CC has been exactly what I’ve needed to help me over that hump of despair.
Because seriously, I had it BAAAADDDDD. I was in a horrible, horrible place–as recently as December (EXMS’s 40th Birthday was especially hard for me).
I’m feeling so much better now. I’m not going to DIE because EXMS is no longer in my life. I’m not going to DIE because I didn’t get married and have a baby. I’m not going to DIE because I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m not going to DIE because my life is turning out differently than I thought it would.
For the very first time in two years, I’m feeling very, very positive about the future. I’m ready for great things to come my way. I’m open and I’m willing. CC or not, bring it on!
Saturday was a blast! It was my friend Terri’s 40th birthday, and it was celebrated at a wine tasting place (appropriate!). Terri is Best Bud’s sister-in-law, so Best Bud, her hub and their little boy drove in (I NEVER get to see her as she lives 4-hours away and is always busy with travel and other stuff). It was so great to see everyone.
I actually got to use some of my wine smarts that I’ve learned from CC at this tasting place. How much fun to be able to speak fairly intelligently about wines, types of grapes, tastes, etc. I even got us some freebie tastes and lots of laughs from the staff.
Fun and so worth the drive. This placewas not even close to where I live, but convenient to most of the others because it is close to the airport and Terri’s husband is an airline pilot and there were lots of airline people there (including someone who is getting 15 minutes of fame lately).
This has nothing to do with the pilot I had a date with on Sunday night. Which brings us to…
The date I had on Sunday night.
Capt K. had been really persistent about seeing me, so finally I broke down and said yes to his invitation to come over on Sunday night and let him cook dinner for me.
I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I had already been out all day long (church, then a restaurant opening with CC, and then to Capt K’s place). Captain K. lives in BFE…almost an hour from where I started out. I think he lives about 45 minutes from my place. And there are no wine/liquor stores anywhere close by (I wanted to pick at least a little something up for him), so I came empty handed and was a little embarrassed about that.
Especially when I got there. OMG, the spread this man had made for me!! He was sauteing potatoes when I got there and had prepped a salad and bacon-wrapped scallops and filet mignon! He was also grilling squash. Too much!
He also had a nice bottle of Champagne and other beverages. And the TULIPS. He knows how much I love tulips, so he had that big bunch arranged just so on his dining room table.
Once he gave me the lay of the land and the dust settled, I figured out how incredibly nervous he was. Because normally, he sends these hilarious texts and he’s an incredibly witty guy, but he was SO serious with me.
He was so very nervous that it was almost painful to watch. I asked him what would help settle his nerves. And we both had a glass of Champagne and it helped. He also opened a bottle of Scotch. I asked him not to drink too much because I didn’t want us to have some kind of drunk-fest at his house. He lives too far away!
Bottom line, we had much more fun than I thought we would. His house is immaculate. His cooking skills are spectacular. He is hilarious once he settles down. We watched some kind of music channel and then he played around with his toys: Apple TV, connected to his iPhone, etc….kinda cool and gadget-y.
There was no making out or anything like that, but he was very affectionate. I liked.
Long story short, I crashed on his couch! I’d just had the tiniest bit too much to drink, and he’d made a fire and I got sooooooo comfortable. Next thing I know, I’m waking up on the couch, with him on the other side (big wrap-around kind of contraption).
He made me coffee in the morning and we talked and laughed and it was nice. He got called out for a flight, but then they called back because his flight was canceled due to weather (rain/snow), so we hung out for a little while longer and then I told him that I had to get going.
It was a lovely date. I had a great time, and I’m going to see him again. I don’t really know how I feel about the whole thing, but I’m keeping my options very, very open at this point.
Mmmmkay. I’ve shot most of my morning away. I need to get some things accomplished…maybe go for a run, talk to my leasing office, look at another space in a different loft building, go to the leather studio, etc.
Got to enjoy it now. This week will fly and then I’m back to the grind!
XOXO. Love!
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