Had the sweetest AND hottest date with SexyPants last night. I’m dying this morning because again, I stayed out waaaaayyy too late with him. Damn, is he sexy.
Alas, something is amiss in Perfectland.
So, as you know, I’ve had some relationships gone sour in the past. Some in part due to the lack of honesty on the others’ parts, right? And sometimes it’s best to do a little checking on said parties simply to put one’s mind at ease, correct?
Yeah, so I did a little internet search on SexyPants a few days ago, eventually going so far as to purchase one of those background check thingies/reports for $39.99. I figure, money well spent (less than dinner and a drink or two) to make sure he’s not a semi-rehabilitated axe murderer or whatever or still married or something.
Yeah.
I thought it strange that a search that should include divorce records did not. Was is just not registering? Was the search engine simply not up to date?
It gnawed at me a little, but I just figured that it just wasn’t an updated system. Yet, after a delicious semi-dirty martini with jalapeno olives, I found myself asking a few questions pertaining to the dissolution of his marriage.
I never even asked straight out if he was really divorced, and it’s not like he was defensive at all, but he actually had his papers stored as a document on his iPhone. He pulled his phone out and showed me and the document read, “Legal Separation” and he said that they call it that (instead of using the word “divorce”) in the state of Colorado (where he still officially lives — his house closes this month and he will move here) and it is the same as a divorce.
I didn’t ask a bunch of questions, just nodded and said, “okay.”
I figure, if you’re going to pull out documents and all that it’s not necessary to argue something that I don’t know a lot about. I also left it at that because I just didn’t think it was right to dig and dig and dig. Maybe he wanted me to. I don’t know.
A simple google of “Divorce vs. Legal Separation in Colorado” reveals that while he has gone through all of the motions of getting a divorce – the financials, the custody stuff, etc., he is NOT officially divorced. That a divorce decree CAN be issued directly from that paperwork (just need to be filed), but the separation papers are NOT a replacement for a divorce decree.
Legally, he cannot remarry and his “wife” can still be on his insurance and in his inheritance.
And the thing is, it’s not like a legal separation is a prerequisite for a divorce in Colorado. In cases like this the judge orders either a divorce OR a legal separation and I’m not sure why they chose a legal separation other than the fact that if they choose to reconcile they can do so without having to remarry OR for some kind of weird insurance purposes OR for religious reasons. I’m pretty sure it’s not the two latter…but I don’t know.
So now I’m not sure what to think about our smokin’ hot SexyPants. Do I consider him a big fat LIAR? Is he trying to pull a fast one on me? Honestly, I know he’s not really trying to just get in my pants because I know he has PLENTY of opportunity for that pretty much all over the country/world. I know he’s dating other women. But is he playing all of them?
Damn. Are there ANY truly honest men out there???
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