Exciting and New! in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

You guys, seriously.  I am still basking and reeling and savoring the last two months of my life.  I come here to write often and I’m simply sidetracked by…well, stuff.  I mean, mainly I use this site to vent and spew the negatives.  So see what happens when I’m overcome with happiness?  Plus, I want to spend ALL my extra time with him.  I do cherish the times we have together because of SexyPants’ pretty hectic travel schedule.  We’ve been very lucky in the past two/three weeks as we’ve been together most of the time.
 
Where was I, last I wrote?  I guess I was worried about a few things that have worked themselves out:
 
1.         My “friend” who asked me for some proprietary information/numbers, etc…turns out, this was never an issue and I can’t believe that I made it one.  I sure was sensitive about it, though.  I ended up talking with him that evening (heh–I did avoid him throughout the day), and he’d gotten the numbers from someone else within the company!!  Yikes.  While it helped me with my own personal moral dilemma, it still made me feel weird about the fact that he has lots of access and still wanted me to pull this info.  I did let him know that I didn’t feel right about it and we ended up having a very good and helpful conversation about love.  Yes, LOVE!  : )  I value his opinion regarding that matter—even if I don’t trust him in business.  All was smoothed over.
 
2.         My insecurities regarding not hearing back from SexyPants while he’s traveling after telling me I’d hear from him.  Guys, he did it another time a while back, making it three times he’d told me that I’d hear from him throughout the evening, when in actuality I heard cricket chirps.  OK.  That third time I was pretty upset as it was feeling like a pattern in our relationship.  A pattern that I did not like, and actually a pattern that he didn’t realize was happening.  He just didn’t think it was a biggie.  So, after giving him the passive-aggressive silent treatment for over 24 hours about a month ago (which left him very confused), we finally had a talk.  I told him that it felt like he was making promises (however small) that he wasn’t keeping.  I didn’t tell him that it made me insecure and worried that he might be doing something he shouldn’t be doing….but I did tell him that it wasn’t cool and turned the tables on him, asking how he would feel if I was on a business trip, out with vendors, etc…and telling him that I’d check in with him from time to time during the evening.  How would he feel if he didn’t hear anything from me?  I would hope that he’d be worried that I hadn’t driven into a ditch or gotten into trouble, etc.  He told me that it wouldn’t happen anymore.  Funny thing is, he’s now telling me not to expect to hear from him!!  And at first that really bothered me!  But you know what?  I’ve discovered that the best thing for SexyPants is to let him have his time with The Boys and not to even worry about it.  Yes, I know he’s a flirt and yes I know he’s out drinking, cracking jokes and strutting around with his peacock feathers spread out for all to see.  But you know what?  That’s something that I LOVE about him!!  And until he gives me reason to believe he’s doing something terrible or cheaty or whatever, I actually kinda like the idea that he can go out and be a SexyPants and I can go out and be sparkly and flirty myself!!!  And when all is said and done, he tells me that he adores me for giving him this freedom and it makes him think about me even more.  I have several examples of this working very much in my favor, so I’m going to trust him on this one—and that feels good!
 
That’s it!  Those were my two worrisome issues, and they are no longer really issues as long as Friend doesn’t ask me for $$$$ and % numbers and SexyPants follows through with his commitments, however minor he may think they are.
 
Alllll part of learning how to have healthy relationships, I guess.  And it allllll feels so good and so right! 
 
Have I told you lately how IN LOVE I am???
 
Did you know that we’ve met each other’s families?  Did you know that not only did I go to his hometown to meet his fam for Thanksgiving, but that I went back at Christmastime too?!   And guess what?  I really, really like them!
 
Now, that’s not saying that everything is perfect in Family Land either.  I also met SexyPants’ son.  He has Asperger’s Syndrome among other issues.  If this relationship continues like it’s going, there will be many more entries to follow regarding SP’s son and daughter (haven’t met the daughter yet…another LONG story).  I’m not ready to get into all of that at the moment, but I do want to get these issues out there as I have a feeling they will surface again.
 
But let me just say that SexyPants himself is everything I’ve ever wanted in a boyfriend and more:  he’s kind and considerate and sweet to me, we have very much the same type of personality, the guy is funny if not downright hilarious (has me laughing until I almost pee my pants half the time), he’s amazing in bed, he’s generous, thoughtful, sincere, loves his momma, is chivalrous, impressive business savvy, adventurous, a risk-taker, is always open to heartfelt conversations (and WANTS to talk about issues), the list goes on and on and on. 
 
I am thrilled.
 
And yes, I do know that not everything’s love and roses, but I will tell you this:  we have been dating almost five months now and haven’t had a single argument.  Nothing!  No real disagreements, no irritations to really speak of, and certainly no knock-down, drag-outs.
 
Now, I know I’m really not supposed to do a lot of comparing, but I can’t help it.  EXMS and I had had many, many passionate arguments by this time in our relationship.  In fact, at five months, EXMS and I were already living together, had already gone to couples therapy and had many, MANY fights, disagreements, and I’d already shed plenty of tears. 
 
It’s almost mind-blowing how different this is.  And to think, all that time I thought it was [mostly] me who was to blame for all those heated moments.  I mean, [CN] will remember the time that I threw myself on the floor and held onto EXMS’s leg in order to keep him from walking out the door! 
 
Okay, it really IS mind-blowing how different this is.
 
I have a very, very strong feeling about this one, this time, this relationship.  My honey loves me.  And I love him right back.
 
I need to keep everything in perspective, though.  I know it’s going to take work.  I know it’s not going to be 100% effortless and easy.  I just know that I’m happy right now, and it means so, so much to me!
 
It’s like I tell SexyPants, we both deserve this!