Ugh. I want so badly to write about SexyPant’s kid (SOS) and alllllll the shit, but it pisses me off that I spend so much energy thinking and worrying about it.
Let’s just say that…and I do want to get back to this…I have come [thisclose] to calling 911 when things got ugly/violent a week or so ago. His dad (SexyPants) got mad at ME for almost doing it. And now, SexyPants has let SOS know that I’m scared of his shit and he plays this, “I feel like I’m going to hurt someone or something” fucking line. I’m angry.
And believe it or NOT, the kid adores me. He wants me there with them all the time. Most of the time it’s okay, but SOS is an energy suck. Seriously, when I go to visit, he takes 100% of both SexyPants and my energy–we have to make sure he’s occupied, make sure he’s not agitated, making sure he’s not hungry, making sure he’s taken his pills, making sure…making sure…..
It’s exhausting.
And yes, I know, I KNOW!! He’s a kid. But he is a special needs kid and will ALWAYS, ALWAYS need special care.
SexyPants, of course, thinks that he can mainstream SOS. And maybe he’s right, someday. But for now, SOS needs serious attention (SOS still poops his pants, and yet, SexyPants has let him get his Drivers Learners permit).
SOS been accepted and a date has been set for his admisssion to the new facility (originally SexyPants said Sept 6, but now I believe it’s the 8th…which will give us 3 days together – alone – before I have to leave for Asia).
I so wish I didn’t have this resentment. I don’t always have it. But it’s there. And I need a safe place to get it out.
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