Today, I am going to get some individual therapy.
Did I tell you that SexyPants had gotten a therapist very quickly after the “split” and has now attended 4 sessions, two of which I have attended? Well, I guess I haven’t. We are seeing a relationship/marriage councelor. I’m not sure how I feel about it, but he’s a good therapist, I think. Tells things to us pretty straight (if he, SP, doesn’t step up and do some major work that nothing is going to be better for us). He also says somthing about how two people in a relationship are always at the same level emotionally. If I were so much healthier emotionally, SP and I would have never dated to begin with. And vice versa.
I like his thinking, and I know it is true.
And I feel as though I need some solo attention. So I’m going to try this new lady I found through my insurance provider website. We’ll see. As you may know, I don’t like therapists that much…I always feel like they tell me what I want to hear. You know? Like, they don’t make me work very hard on myself. In fact, every therapist I’ve ever seen has seemed to shake their head and *tsk* *tsk* and, “I don’t know why or how you get yourself into these situations because you had a wonderful childhood and don’t seem to have ‘daddy’ or ‘mommy’ issues…you have a wonderful and satisfying career, have great friends…I don’t understand your bad luck!”
Something like that.
Or is it that I’m just not listening? Because I swear, if I hear one more thing like, “there’s nothing wrong with you,” I think I’m going to have a breakdown. Because, fuck! Why DO I seem to have such bad luck?
And why am I such a pussy?
I’m not a bad person. I’ve never done the shit that’s been done to me. Is it because I’m a pushover? I allow it? I attract it? I WANT it? I demand it? What do I do to attract such…bullshit? And WHY do I put up with it?
Well, I hope to find at least a little glimmer of an answer this afternoon.
Frankly, I’d prefer OD to tell me. Best therapy I’ve EVER had.
Today’s Awesome Things I Love About Me List:
I’ll let you know how the therapy session goes.
Love you. So much.
GS
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