At work and still discombobulated, but I want to get an entry out becuase I can’t get anything else done until I do! I’m so far behind these last few days, but my thoughts tend to be all-consuming. I agree with this thing that [AMole] has written in my notes about a breakup causing temporary (I hope it’s temporary!) OCD. Or insanity. Whichever. I got it.
Funny, while I was in Asia, I couldn’t believe that I was actually functioning and not breaking down. It was weird. I allowed myself about 5 minutes at at time when I was alone in my hotel room to have a mini-breakdown and then I always had to suck it back up because I had either (a) a meeting, (b) a plane to catch, (c) a dinner that I needed to attend, or (d) the need to pass out cold. I simply didn’t have the time or energy to break down.
Now that I’ve been back a couple-three weeks, I’ve found it much, much harder to keep my sadness and anxiety from creeping in. I’ve cried a few times, sometimes very quietly at my desk, sometimes howling in the middle of the night. You know I’m still in a hotel, right? I wonder what my neighbors think of me? But I’ve also soothed myself with various methods: dinner with girlfriends, some happy hours, some time with SP (because it helps to dull. This is my method, and it keeps me from hurting so much).
But…BUT! I will be moving into my NEW HOME this weekend! That’s right. I found a new place to live last weekend, and I’m thrilled. It’s going to be really beautiful. And it’s in my old hood, kinda. It’s tucked more into the buildings of downtown so that I don’t really have a view like I did at my last place, but it is built out SO much nicer than my very industrial loft.
Still an old building with history. You know I like that!
Oh wow. The day has completely gone by and I didn’t get to write this entry properly. I’m not omitting. I just got cut short. I’m headed to an open house at a new phography studio and then on to a happy hour…
I guess life ain’t ALL that bad, now is it?
I don’t know guys–UP one minute, lower than low the next.
Such is life.
Love,
GS
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