After 6PM on a Friday evening and I am sitting in the office, not wanting to go home yet (to my NEW home). It’s not yet furnished and I am overwhelmed with things I need to BUY. You’d think it would be fun, but it’s just plain exhausting to think about alllll this stuff. And I’m still hurt to my core that I should be planning and saving for my WEDDING and not spending time and $$$$ on this new place.
But I understand. Life is not “supposed” to be. It’s just that I’ve always been about making things happen. And now I have to yet again make something other than the thing that I WANTED to happen, happen. You know?
I want to nest, but I don’t want to nest alone. I was not made to be alone. But then again, maybe I was.
I still see SexyPants now and then, but he is away. Tomorrow is his daughter’s high school graduation. I don’t even have the emotional capacity to really think hard about that one.
He’s been on a business trip since Monday. You’d think that would give me the time to reflect and focus on me. I’ve been all about kinda getting set up in my new place, yet really running in circles and not getting anything done.
It will happen. I know it will. It’s just that I feel like I walk around still very much in a daze. It’s only been a few weeks.
I need a fucking vacation.
Girls Weekend (old college friends) at the beginning of June. Looking forward to that.
I need to get out of the office. I’m getting chunky again. Bluh. Time to go walk this shit off…
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