So. My OD membership is about to expire again, and I’m wondering if I should renew? I mean, is OD still a sinking ship? Should I just write about shit in private in a word document? I don’t know. I miss this place and everyone in it, but I never seem to write anymore and it kind of bums me out.
I have been a crappy friend on here of late…terrible with the notes and terrible at writing things down. And I know that it helps and I’ve appreciated all of the amazing feedback. I have grown to love it here and sometimes even depend on this place somewhat/sometimes.
But I feel like I’ve been an awful diarist.
Right now, everything’s pretty good in my life. No, not completely clear and PERFECT, but then it wouldn’t be living, now would it? I am pretty happy–working on stuff, of course, but feeling like I’m moving in the right direction, however slowly.
It always seems to help me write things down, kinda list-like so that I can go back and re-look at where I’ve been and where I’m going. I have lots to do.
Lately:
GOLDEN TEEF: Phase 4,287–got two more teeth worked on yesterday. I’m getting everything fixed in gold…pure GOLD! My dentist joked yesterday that by the time he’s done with me I will match all of my accessories. Now. I love yellow gold. My coloring is perfect for mixes of matte and shiny gold and I love that, on the outside. On the inside of my mouth, however, it’s kind of weird. I truly thought that I’d be fixing my teeth and that they would be pearly white when he was done. Granted, the teeth that SHOW are pearly white – and now very healthy! But the teeth in the back that have been worked on look like I’ve been eating Golden Oreos. Still, I love my dentist. He’s a badass and has all of the latest technology: cool scanners and computer screens and does this amazing photography of my teeth,showing me along the way what he’s doing. He doesn’t like to do aggressive dental procedures, yet he’s all about making my mouth look pretty. I guess that’s why I was surprised with the gold. But it’s the best. And I’m all for him doing the best stuff so that I don’t have to get things re-worked (like my shoddy veneers on my two front teeth. He has since re-done them and they are GORGEOUS). I trust him with these magical golden onlays that he’s doing–better than getting crowns and root canals, I say! I just hope that this is the last of the hard-core dentistry for several years.
NEW PLACE/SPACE: Well, it’s not so new anymore. I know you want photos, however I don’t feel quite done yet. My walls are bare, and that’s bugging me. I really need the following to make this place feel complete: (1) Large piece of artwork for a side wall in living room, (2) Frames for prints that I’m using out of an awesome book I found on major sale at Z. Gallierie, A Zeal of Zebras. This book is full of these awesome graphics and images of groups of animals and thier collective names. I want to line my hallway with these critters. (3) A large and decorative floor mirror. Firstly because I think it would look gorgeous in my place, but more importantly becuase I don’t have a friggin full length mirror so I have NO idea if I look fab or hellish when I leave for work in the morning or to go out on the town. (4) New bedclothes. (5) Lamps for the bedside tables b/c it gets dark in my bedroom and I must have LIGHT! (6) Bench(es) for the foot of my bed (7)…oh hell…just a lot more pretty things that I haven’t gotten around to. I will get there eventually.
HOT BOD: eh. I don’t want to talk about it right now. Yuk. In fact, all I want to do today is eat chocolate covered peanuts and such. Mixed with jalapeno potato chips. Washed down with a monstrous skinny margarita (heh). With salt.
THE J.O.B.:Welllll. I’m happy to have a job. Thrilled, even. I will say that much. However, there are times when one just starts to feel like it might be time to do a little sniffing around into new and exciting opportunities. I’m in sniff mode, I guess. But nothing’s really come of it. Things have been going on that are making my pants have more ants then normal, and when I get that itchy tingle I know that someone or something out there is telling me something. There have been some strange promotions and moves around me. And I don’t think I ever really told you about the peeps I’m surrounded by right now. Um. I don’t really want to get catty right now (esp. since I’m currently at the office). Let’s just say, pretty it’s not. Nor is it terrible. It just…is, ya know? See? Ants.
LOVE: I have to tell you something that you might not want to hear. Or maybe you do. I’m not trying to complicate things…but I believe in SexyPants. There are reasons that are far, far too complex to write as a bullet in an entry and I know you want to smack me for leaving out allllllll the gory/juicy details. However, we are 5 months into therapy (together and separate) and talking and working on things. It’s not hard and it’s not gut-wrenching anymore. And he makes me laugh like no other and he tells me every day – every. single. day. that he was an idiot and that he will work for the rest of his life on the good stuff. He knows what he wants, and I am coming around and I’m considering these things: (1) The good stuff far outweighs the bad. (2) Nobody is perfect, not even me…especially not me. (3) We tend to better each other in big and little ways. (4) The people in my life who really care about me are backing me/us up. Including my parents who were just as heartbroken as I was–if not MORE.(5) I’m not afraid to be alone which makes these decisions all that much easier. (6) I’m HAPPY when we’re together. (7) We’ve got time. We’re not in a hurry to get married anymore, and that makes things so much easier. (8) I don’t feel like we’re wasting each other’s time. Not everyone deserves a second chance, but for many, many reasons I believe that he does – however, (9) I will not take any bullsh. This is perfectly clear. (10) I like him. Oh, and (11) we met two years ago today.
So there you have the gist. More soon. Meanwhile, re-renew? Not? What to do.
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