Feeling melancholy about things today. Or maybe unsettled.
Been thinking about honesty lately and wondering tons of stuff. Like, will people really try to get away with what they can get away with? If you knew that nobody would EVER be able to find out something about you–there was a .0001% chance of getting caught doing something that would bring you rewards or pleasure, would you do it? Or not?
Sure, something may be legal, but is it morally right? And who’s to say? Where is that line? Is the compass inside oneself only?
Let’s take Lance Armstrong for example. Now, I know this one is still so controversial, but let’s think about this one anyway. Say you knew about doping going on in your sport and the possibility that maybe your peers/competetors were up to it, but you also thought it was wrong and knew it to be illegal. But then someone comes along and tells you about certain other chemicals/concoctions that are not being tested or wouldn’t show up in drug tests and you knew that you’d be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and you’d also pass all your drug tests and look like a hero all the while battling cancer? And you knew that there was NO WAY that the tests would show you doing anything wrong? Would you do it? Would HE do it?
Look at Joe Paterno. The things he covered up all in the name of looking good and making a name for his school? He had people who would fall down on the sword for him. All the while, so many were hurt/victimized/falling on a different kind of sword (no pun).
Sometimes I lose all of my faith in humankind. I seem to feel like everyone…EVERYONE would and will take a chance when they feel they won’t get caught or they will “look better”. Really?
And then it hits close to home and you have to wonder the same thing. Friends stretch the truth. Lovers lie. Why? Because they think/know they can get away with it? Get ahead? Get something extra?
But why?
Because in the end, doesn’t it get exposed? I’m sure not always. I’m sure that everybody takes certain secrets to their grave. Maybe they are the smart ones, or maybe those secrets are the little ones.
Or maybe I shouldn’t even care. Maybe I should just shut up and take care of my own self.
But I do know this: I do not want to be a bitter old woman. No.
I do know that there is a LOT of good going on in this world. I do know that some people are truly, TRULY just and do the right thing and take stands with conviction.
I just need to search them out, and quickly.
* I realize that a lot of this pondering makes me look naive. And maybe I have been all these years. Maybe I am right now. I mean look, I’ve been called out at work for being “too nice” and in other places too, and it really pisses me off (lately…imagine, I used to think it was a complement!!?!). Alas, I think they may be right. Still, the more I think about moral dilemmas and what’s right and what’s not and what’s simply standing up for yourself and what’s being a total pussy….well, I just don’t know. I think there’s more pondering to be done here.

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