Bluesy today.
SP gave me a scare this morning in that I didn’t hear from him first thing. Because we are no longer living together, on the mornings when we haven’t spent the night together, he texts me as soon as he wakes up at around 6. Always. And then he calls me while we are both driving to our offices.
I didn’t hear from him for hours this morning.
You know he has a heart condition, right? The doc has been playing around with all kinds of meds to get his blood pressure down. I was afraid that his aneurysm had blown and that he was dead. I don’t know what came over me, but I was in a panic. I was imagining the things that would happen if he were gone. It was such a bizarre feeling.
And then he finally called me at almost 9 (I’d left a voicemail telling him that if I didn’t hear from him by 9 that I was going to go over to his place and check on him). His meds have made him extremely lethargic and he’s been sleeping a LOT lately.
When he did call me, I cried a little and told him how worried I was. And then I was kind of angry for (a) feeling like such a baby, and (b) him scaring me like that.
I’m still feeling weird.
I’m also quite bummed about this job thing now. Not because I didn’t get the job, but becuase not only did I NOT get the job, but I was kicked off the “elite” committee that I would have been LEADING if I HAD gotten the job. Nobody even fucking TOLD me this until I asked a fellow former committee member.
Okay, what the fuck is that? I mean, seriously? I am qualified enough to seriously INTERVIEW for this position, and then I get kicked off of the committee? Without anybody even saying anything to me?
I talked to my boss about it yesterday and he had gone to talk to the head of the department last night and then he talked to me again today. Told me that was a pretty shitty thing for them to do and to expect an apology. The department head (who would have been my boss had I gotten the job) is supposed to talk to me at some point.
Still, I’m off of the committee.
And I saw the Dept Head this afternoon at a meeting for our whole division, and she simply similed and said hello. I know that there was really no time to do some kind of formal apology, but she could have at least said that she wanted to speak with me later or something.
Hyde=chapped.
Things are completely OFF these days. I know I’m getting my nose bent out of shape for petty things. It’s just…I don’t know.
My wedding date was supposed to be this Saturday.
Somebody throw me a bone.
*fuck*
Love,
GS
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