9 Celsius. I don't know why I bothered to jot down and note the current temperature outside and I can't even come up with a plausible explanation as to why I even bothered to notate the temperature in Celsius. For those of you in the United States, it's 49 F. I'm going to write regardless of how cold or how hot it might be outside. There's no wind in sight. It's dark outside. There's no way in hell I'm going outside, for any reason. I'm not going for a walk. Hell, I'm not even thinking about going outside. Whatever I might have left in the car is going to stay there until the sun comes up.
Mom is not washing her car today. She won't be picking up a new watch. She's never worn timepieces on her wrist, but that minor detail is not important. You see, Mom is still dead and has been for the past seven-plus years. She's not doing much of anything. Her ashes still remain in that nice cubicle urn that we decided to put her in all those years ago. The last thing on her mind, what's left of it, are watches, watch batteries, or even down payments on expensive watches.
I've never questioned the extent to which women like me. I've definitely never found it weird that I have women who like me. I am of sound mind, nowhere near crazy or unhinged, don't really say outlandishly weird shit, to where I would never wonder why a lot of people would continue to regard me in such high esteem and women - though not all - kinda like me.
I like it anyway. It doesn't bother me. I don’t have much to say this morning though. Then again, it's rare that I do.
I’m not a linguist. I'm not currently studying any foreign languages, nor am I trying to learn any. I am perfectly content with the English that I know and in which I continue to speak and communicate. I'm literate, but yet I don't really like to read. I'm talking books, leaflets, pamphlets, the backs of cereal boxes. Nothing. I'm not currently reading anything. Just don’t feel like reading anyway, though it's never been a go-to for me, as far as keeping myself entertained.
I suppose that Mom and I could go play pool. I could drive. I'm not afraid to drive or anything. I haven't been scared to drive since I've been legally licensed. I feel absolutely no need to practice driving in the neighborhood. Streets. Alleys. Freeways. You name it, I got it. Of course, Mom was never into pool, billiards, or even Monopoly. I had almost gotten her to play Clue once, but she thought that such a game required way too much thought and she decided that that game wasn't for her. Also, don't forget that one minor detail I mentioned earlier. Mom is still dead. She's not playing pool or board games. She's not doing much of anything.
Very rarely am I ever moody, whether it's kinda moody or straight-up, certifiably moody. I'm pretty even keeled. People can be trash. People can also smell like trash, like a lot of the local area bums. I try not to be trash. That's not a good look and it certainly doesn't smell good.
I’m honestly not sure what to do today. Maybe it's too early to make that decision? I don't have much purpose or clarity right now. Maybe I'm all over the place? I don't really think that it's all that important to have clarity of purpose. Life's going to happen regardless. As far as motivation goes, some days it’s just not there, like one's interest in bathing or cleaning the skid marks from that area just in front of the toilet. I'm trying to keep things moving, as they say.
I do tend to be a little forward, strict in my thinking and emotions. Being this way does not mean that I'm right, though sometimes I might think that. I think a lot of things. I think that some women might look great wearing red lipstick, but it's especially rare that women can pull off wearing a hairstyle with that same shade of red.
I don’t think writing here is going to resolve anything, but that doesn't mean that I stop writing. Sometimes you just need to take some time for yourself, maybe masturbate for a few minutes (or hours, if you have that kind of stamina), and try to find some balance and perspective. I also don't recommend masturbating while standing up. That's not comfortable and it's not always easy to maintain balance if, you know, you're really feeling it.
Anyway, good enough for now.
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