14) His body was hard, not hard like Milosevic, the Serbian strongman, but hard like the marble on your shower floor, when you fall and bang your knee.
13) Her embrace made his manhood swell like week old road-kill on hot asphalt in the Georgia sun.
12) As she kissed her way down his manly chest, he felt his Amalgamated Crane Company stock increasing in value.
11) Beatrice was on him like a piranha on a corn dog.
10) …then he kissed her, like a butterfly kisses the windshield of a Porsche on the Autobahn.
9) Her breasts heaved like a stormy ocean, and her pointed nipples were like hypodermics washed up on the shore.
8) With his broad shoulders and slim waist, he was a yield sign — yet she could NOT!
7) He tore open her blouse like a Publisher’s Clearing House letter in which he, and some guy named Steven Bouber from Stockton, California, were potential finalists for the ten million dollar prize.
6) Her sun-glazed back formed a golden arch as he moved his face toward her happy meal.
5) With each breath, her chest heaved like a bulimic after Thanksgiving dinner.
4)His chest was her pillow, and oh, did she drool.
3) Claire felt swept away by this dark stranger, a helpless dust bunny in the roaring cacophony of his gas-powered leaf blower.
2) Claire felt swept away by this dark stranger, a helpless dust bunny in the roaring cacophony of his gas-powered leaf blower.
and the Number 1 Bad Romance Novel Metaphor or Simile…
1) His finger, weathered and rough from years on the ranch, danced in and out of his nose like a slimy ballerina.
I got this from Fade to black who got it from topfive.com.
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