You are drunk when you feel sophisticated but you can’t pronounce it.
Beer – So much more than just a breakfast drink.
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
Remember I before E, except in Budweiser.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder…
Beer – The reason I wake up every afternoon.
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. – David Daye
To some its a six-pack, to me it’s a support Group
Without question the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you the wheel was also a fine invention, but a wheel does not go as well with pizza. – Dave Barry
I have a drink to celebrate the little things. Like Tuesdays – we only have one of those a week!
Scotch – Because one doesn’t solve the world’s problems over white wine.
And God said: Let there be vodka! And He saw that it was good. Then God said: Let there be light! And then He said: Whoa – too much light.
Don’t drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your beer.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes. – Oscar Wilde
There are only two times when I drink beer, when I’m alone and when I’m with someone else.
American beer is like making love in a canoe. It’s f*cking close to water. – Monty Python
Beer contains Vitamin Pee.
Scotch. Even we Irish will drink it…
Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.
As a rule, I don’t drink — as a habit, I do!
24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case … coincidence?
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin
“What’s on the mind when sober, is on the tongue when not.” – Josh Seidel
Some people have six pack abdomens. I have a keg.
The best days to drink beer are days that end in the letter, “Y”.
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. – David Moulton
If you ever reach total enlightenment while you’re drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. – Jack Handy
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
Give a man a beer, he’ll waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, he’ll waste a lifetime.
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. -Tom Waits
Irish I had another drink.
Whiskey was invented so the Irish wouldn’t rule the world.
There’s too much blood in my alcohol system
Milk Sucks, Got Beer?
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. -Ernest Hemingway
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. – Frank Sinatra
Many people die of thirst – but the Irish are born with one.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? – W.C. Fields
Dough, the stuff, that buys my beer, Ray, the guy that tends the bar, Me, the guy, who drinks my beer, Far, the distance to the bar, So, I think I’ll have a beer, La, Laa lAA lAh LaH LAA LAAAH! Tea, no thanks I want a beer, which brings us back to Dough Dough Dough!
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
To some it’s half empty, To some it’s half full. To me it’s time for a beer run!
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. – Humphrey Bogart
Once during prohibition, I was forced to live on nothing but food and water. – W.C. Fields
You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. – Frank Zappa
One more and I’ll be under the host – Dorothy Parker
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henny Youngman
Will
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