48. When being robbed at gunpoint, be a real sarcastic smartass to the guy holding a gun in your face. Make fun of obvious things such as his weight, facial scars, etc.
49. If that doesn’t work, whip out a pen and start taking notes. When the robber asks you what in the hell you’re doing, say, “I’m writing down your description for the police. I have a short memory, okay?”
50. If that doesn’t work, pick up the phone and dial 911. Tell the police what’s happening as you take your time putting the robber’s money into a paper bag. If he gets mad, tell him, “Shhhhhhh! I’m on the phone!”
51. If a black guy comes up to the counter to pay for his 12 pack of beer, look him in the eye and say, “This establishment don’t serve no colored folks.”
52. When the pimps that always hang out in front come in to buy alcohol, card them. Insist that the picture on the I.D. isn’t them and refuse the sale, smiling the whole time.
53. Be really rude to the gang members. Wear the opposite colors that they do and tell them you’re Homey G Roy and they’re going down!
54. If O.J. Simpson comes in to buy a pair of gloves, start cracking a bunch of bad O.J. jokes.
Will
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