Mirror, Mirror in OD

Right. This is my 900th entry. Now, usually I would do a peoples interview entry. But, no-one asked any questions. So, bearing in mind that this was never to be a normal update entry, I decided to treat you all.

Below, you will find an original script written by me. (BTW, it took about half an hour to format it even remotely properly.) It is called Mirror, Mirror.

Please let me know what you think. Don’t just be nice about it for the sake of being nice about it. As Angie will tell you, I insist on brutal honesty. If you think it is shit, say so.

Fade in:

INT. BEDROOM. DAY.

Overhead shot of the bed. Lying on top of the bed is STEPHEN FAWKES. The letterbox rattles. The noise wakes Stephen up.

STEPHEN:
Uhh?
(Beat)
Postman’s been.

Stephen gets out of bed and leaves the room. He returns holding some mail. As he comes back in he switches on the light. He then sits on the bed.

STEPHEN:
Let’s see… bill. Bill. Debt collection agency. TV licensing folk. Perfect.

He opens the envelope and pulls out a giro cheque.

STEPHEN:
All hail the glory that is St Giro’s Day!

CUT TO:

EXT. STREET. DAY.

Stephen is walking down the street. He is holding his wallet in one hand. In the other is his mobile phone. He collides with a BUSINESSMAN who looks a lot like Stephen. Stephen drops his wallet and his phone. The Businessman’s briefcase bursts open.

BUSINESSMAN:
Sorry.

STEPHEN:
Nah. I should have been watching where I was going.

Stephen picks up his phone and his wallet, puts them away and helps the Businessman pick up his belongings.

BUSINESSMAN:
Cheers.

STEPHEN:
No problem. See you.

BUSINESSMAN:
Bye.

The Businessman walks away.

STEPHEN:
Curious.

Stephen takes his wallet back out and looks inside.

STEPHEN:
Wow. This isn’t my wallet.

He turns round and looks in the direction the Businessman walked. The Businessman is out of sight.

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM. DAY.

Stephen is sitting in an armchair smoking a roll up. He is watching the film Sliding Doors. His mobile phone rings.

STEPHEN:
Yello.

BUSINESSMAN (v/o):
Is that Stephen Fawkes?

STEPHEN:
Do I know you?

BUSINESSMAN (v/o):
I’m the person you bumped into in the street today.

STEPHEN:
But how do you know my phone number?

BUSINESSMAN (v/o):
You think that’s your phone you’re holding?

STEPHEN:
Yes.

BUSINESSMAN (v/o):
Bit of a coincidence, two people with exactly the same wallet and phone bumping into each other, isn’t it?

STEPHEN:
I did try and catch you when I realised what happened.
(Beat)
I spent some of your money. Sorry.

BUSINESSMAN (v/o):
That’s OK. How much?

STEPHEN:
20.

BUSINESSMAN (v/o):
Well, I’ve spent 15 of your money, so I’ll take out the extra fiver and we’ll call it quits.

STEPHEN:
Fair enough. Where will we meet to swap back?

BUSINESSMAN (v/o):
You know The Mountain Waters?

STEPHEN:
Yeah.

BUSINESSMAN (v/o):
There at seven.

STEPHEN:
See you then.

BUSINESSMAN (v/o):
See you.

Stephen hangs up and puts the phone down.

STEPHEN:
Curiouser and curiouser.

CUT TO:

INT. BAR. NIGHT

The bar is slightly run down. Muzak plays in the background. Stephen is nursing a pint of water. The Businessman comes over.

BUSINESSMAN:
Sorry I’m late.

STEPHEN:
That’s OK.

BUSINESSMAN:
Want a proper drink?

STEPHEN:
Carling please.

BUSINESSMAN:
Coming up.

The Businessman places his briefcase on the table and goes to the bar.

STEPHEN:
Seems like a nice guy.

The Businessman returns with his drinks. He hands Stephen his drink and sits down.

STEPHEN:
Cheers.

The Businessman hands over a mobile phone and a wallet.

BUSINESSMAN:
Yours, I believe.

STEPHEN:
Cheers.

Stephen also hands over a phone and wallet.

STEPHEN:
And yours.

BUSINESSMAN:
Ta muchly.

Stephen rolls a cigarette and lights up.

STEPHEN:
I used to hang out here when I was a student. Hasn’t changed at all.

BUSINESSMAN:
I spent a fair bit of my student life here as well.

STEPHEN:
What did you study?

BUSINESSMAN:
Business management. You?

STEPHEN:
The same. But I dropped out. I can’t shake this feeling that we know each other. We studied the same thing, hung out in the same bar. What’s your name?

BUSINESSMAN:
Stephen Fawkes.

STEPHEN:
Could you spell that for me?

BUSINESSMAN:
S – T – E – P – H – E – N F – A – W – K – E – S.

STEPHEN:
Nah. Sorry. Must have missed the sign.

BUSINESSMAN:
Sorry?

STEPHEN:
Well, we’ve just entered X – Files territory.

BUSINESSMAN:
Why?

STEPHEN:
Well, let’s see.

Stephen holds up a finger for each item.

STEPHEN:
We have exactly the same phone. We have exactly the same wallet. We studied the same thing at the same uni. We hung out in the same bar while at uni. We look alike. And we have the same name spelt the same way.

BUSINESSMAN:
Hmm. I see what you mean.

STEPHEN:
What are you thinking?

BUSINESSMAN:
You ever hear of the other/alternate world theory?

STEPHEN:
You what?

BUSINESSMAN:
It’s used in Red Dwarf, mentioned in The Beach and is one of the main premises in the His Dark Materials trilogy. You know that the universe is infinite?

STEPHEN:
So I’m told.

BUSINESSMAN:
Well, if the universe is infinite than there is an infinite number of planets. If that is true than there is more than one earth.

STEPHEN:
That it?

BUSINESSMAN:
One school of thought is that these alternative earths exist in this reality, another that they exist in alternate realities.

STEPHEN:
So, in one of these worlds I’m a bird?

BUSINESSMAN:
Yup. And you are gorgeous. No man can resist you.

STEPHEN:
Cool.

BUSINESSMAN:
Course, in another world you’re an ugly bird. Couldn’t pull in a prison where the inmates have been force-fed viagra and you’ve got unlimited access.

STEPHEN:
Oh. And how many of these worlds are there?

BUSINESSMAN:
Take the number of decisions you’ve ever made in your life.

STEPHEN:
Just the major ones?

BUSINESSMAN:
From what socks you put on in the morning up. Multiply that number by the number of choices in each decision. Multiply that by the population of the earth.

STEPHEN:
Jesus H Christ on a moped made of jelly!
<BR>
BUSINESSMAN:
And there’s your guesstimate.

STEPHEN:
So, how do you explain us?

BUSINESSMAN:
Our worlds must have collided.

STEPHEN:
So you’re…

BUSINESSMAN:
What do you do for a living?

STEPHEN:
Full time dole scum.

BUSINESSMAN:
Interesting turn of phrase.

STEPHEN:
So, hang on. What you’re saying is that you are what I would have become if I had stayed in uni?

BUSINESSMAN:
Sort of. It’s been, what, six years since you left?

STEPHEN:
Yeah. Didn’t realise it had been that long.

BUSINESSMAN:
Think of how many decisions we’ve made since.

STEPHEN:
Shit. Good point.

BUSINESSMAN:
Think of it like this. I am one possibility of what you would have become had you stayed at uni. You are one possibility of what I would have become had I dropped out. Bit of a noodle baker, isn’t it?

STEPHEN:
Just a bit. You hanging around?

BUSINESSMAN:
No. I’ve got a date. You remember Rebecca Fisher?

STEPHEN:
God, yeah. I had the hugest…

BUSINESSMAN:
Crush on her at uni? I already know.

STEPHEN:
Cos you’re me, sort of.

BUSINESSMAN:
Well, I’m going out with her now. What happened was that…

STEPHEN:
I really don’t want to know. I’m just happy that I could have got her.

BUSINESSMAN:
I get you another drink before I go?

STEPHEN:
Cheers.

The Businessman goes to the bar. Stephen puts his head into his hands.

STEPHEN:
I think my brains melting.

CUT TO:

Title card:

There are many different other/alternate world theories.

Some of these agree with each other, some don’t

FADE TO:

Title card:

The writer has picked different elements from different theories to suit the film.

FADE OUT.

(c) 2004 William Forbes