The genesis for this was this entry from Pheric, in which he proposed that American football be called throwball, as that is the most descriptive name.
One reader took offence to that and blasted him for it. Then Popeyechicken pointed out in this entry that I am guilty of anti – American spelling, like honour.
That got me thinking. And I’ve decided to come clean.
I hate America.
I hate any and everything about America. If you’re American and on my favourites list, don’t be fooled, I hate you. Even if you’re American, live in a different country now and are on my favourites list, I still hate you. You may not live there anymore but you are still American. And so, I hate you.
I hate everything to come out of America. Especially Buffy the Vamipre Slayer, Angel, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica (new version), Pushing Daisies, The West Wing, Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, Family Guy, American Dad (double hatred for that as it has the word American in the title), Wonderfalls, Dead Like Me, MST3K, the films of Charlie Kaufmann, Martin Scorsese and Kevin Smith, anything Pixar has ever made, The Godfather, Brick, Citizen Kane, Bruice Springsteen, Bon Jovi, They Might Be Giants, Nine Inch Nails, Aimee Mann, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Catcher In The Rye and Bill Bryson books.
Who needs that when Britain has given the world Sex Lives Of The Potato Men, Pop Idol/The X Factor, Catherine Tate, I’d Do Anything, The Spice Girls, Take That, East 17, Garry Glitter, Ricky Gervaise and cricket.
So, there you have it. I am indeed plotting from within (the University of Teeside LRC, Middlesbrough, England) to take down America by misspelling words. I blame my education.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go home, eat crumpets, drink tea and plan the next step in the inevitable downfall of America. The honour of the world is at stake.
Oh, and raise the airfare to Camp X-Ray.
Will
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