Oh hell to the motherfucking no! in OD

So, here’s the story.

I have an extreme fear of dentists. This was born when I went to the dentists years ago and was told that I needed a filling. In order to do this, the dentist had to drill the tooth.

So she gave me a local anasthetic. When the drilling started I could feel everything that was being done. Cue injection number 2. Could still feel it. That lead to injection number three. Mouth completely numb but could still feel every bit of the drilling. This in turn lead to injection number 4. When I could still feel everything that was happening I scared the dentist. Sadly I wasn’t allowed any more local anasthetic and the entire proceedings went ahead with me in absolute fucking agony.

I’m not bothered by the way I look. But, just to get someone to shut up and stop nagging me, I allowed myself to be dragged to the dentist in November. Where I was told that I needed to have some teeth removed. After explaining to the dentist what happened last time, they recommended me to a clinic which specialises in high anxiety cases. I’m not sure that high anxiety accurately depicts the extreme fucking bag of nerves that I am about the dentist but there you go.

So the appointment is tomorrow. I went to the practice website to get their address and stupidly decided to look up exactly what treatment they use for someone like me. Turns out it is something called conscious sedation

For those of you who don’t want to follow the link, they basically pump me full of drugs (either oral drugs or IV) in order to depress the central nervous system. This allows them to use local anasthetic without me stressing about it. Side effects can include vomiting, headaches and amnesia. I will be advised not to drive, make critical decisions, or engage in tasks which require a high level of concentration or fine motor skills for 24 – 48 hours afterwards.

As I said on FB and Twitter: If they think they’re doing this to me they can fuck right off, right now.

The problem is that if I was in fucking agony after 4 local anasthetic injections just for a bit of drilling, then what the fuck kind of agony am I going to be in after getting fucking teeth PULLED? There’s nothing about this doing anything about pain. Just that I might not be able to remember anything (no fucking chance).

They know that I’m there to have teeth removed. They even know which fucking teeth need to come out cos my dentist has told them. Why the fuck to I need to be conscious anyway?

They’re just going to be told straight: they either knock me the fuck out completely or it’s not fucking happening. Their choice, not mine.

(The only other alternative would be to give me a bottle of decent Scotch and let me guzzle it before the op. That way, I may still be able to feel it but I’ll be too pissed to give a good goddamn. But somehow I don’t think they’ll be allower to do that.)

I don’t give a shit what they say about how good this procedure is. I’ll never know cos it ain’t fucking happening to me.

Will

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