I had a diary..book…whatever you want to call it…thing set up.. I wrote 4 entries then it just stopped working..I couldn’t log in. So I set up another.
So here I am, again, waiting for this lonely night to cease so I may hold my Bat again when he gets home in the morning…sigh. I really am alone nowadays. Back in Canada, I had my job, my couple friends, my coworkers. I was a freak, a loner, but my social life got better. I’m not saying I’ll go up to people and start talking, I can’t do that. It’s just that I’m more social with coworkers (those I know well) and I had made two really good friends…Now I’m in the States, been unemployed for 8 months now, legally, I’m not allowed to work, I haven’t got a social security number yet. We need to get passed this immigration shit first though. ‘Till then, I occupy these long nights by sculpting figurines, cleaning and sleeping. I also wait for his texts when he’s on break, it’s not like he really texts me much…certainly not like he used to…and I do miss him…But I still get excited when my phone goes off cause he’s talking to me. We’ve been married 16 months, the first eight were spent over 2000 miles apart. It’s not fair, I’m from Ontario, Canada and Bat from Snohomish, Washington. One thing that still creeps me out is when Him and I talk on the phone. When we were apart, It’s not like I had skype or anything. We talked on the phone. For hours. We were able to send each other five second videos and pictures via cell phone. But that was it. In my apartment (we both paid half rent but he didn’t live with me, he just sent me half the rent because he didn’t want me to get a roommate. Which is great, I didn’t want one either. People suck and most can’t be trusted.) I had almost nothing. I had a mattress on the floor. I didn’t even have a fridge or a stove. I’m not kidding. I didn’t care, I was saving up to come to Washington. I needed to be with my Bat, my husband. We’d been apart far too long.
Now that we’re together again, some things have changed…He’s working retail nightcrew and becoming more social than ever, I on the other hand abandoned my social life when I moved here, I can’t work thus I cannot make new acquaintances. I don’t like to go out and socialize. And I love to work. So that’s where I equal it out. I’ll be social and psi with those I get to know well enough, And I get to stand back and observe coworkers, I can see who I’d get along with, who’s uptight, who’s the prick manager and the main bitch. Nightcrew grocery is perfect for me and that setting. I just need to be able to work. Until then, I feel the need to write this all down. All my thoughts. Everything that eats away at my brain because I have no one to talk to..
later,
Wolfy
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