My day began like any other. The pressure on my heart was so great, I did nothing but lay in bed for a half an hour before I tried to stand.
Checking the bank, I found out that a car wash in
Podunk charged me 35 dollars again and with the overdraft charge I was over drawn 70 bucks. So once again drove to the car wash, told them to stop for the 13th time and left.
Drove home with no cash to get to my dr. appointment and nothing NOT ONE THING raised my blood pressure. I mourn, I do so because there is nothing better to do with myself and I don’t really care for anything, about anything. Bring it on, I don’t care.
I stood on my back porch looking out into my back yard. I watched as it snowed ever so lightly. Almost like a mist.
The it hit me. I watched this snow flake, out of place with the others drifting, dancing on the light breeze, falling gracefully to the ground. It bobbed and weaved and sank ever downward until finally, it touched the ground with the greatest of ease, snuggling itself into its sot on the blanket of white. And my mind turned to her…
My knees buckled and my chest tightened as I reached out for the doorway to brace myself. The sorrow washed over me like a giant, overpowering tidal wave. I panicked as I climbed the three steps into my house, flinging the door shut behind me.
The entire house rolled and tumbled as I did all I could to get my gimpy frame to my bed, my last anchor in this world. I wept like it was the day she died three years ago. I wept until I could no longer be awake and I dreamed of our home in the south west side of tow, with my boys and my love alive and intact…
I woke, waters stilled, status quo returned. Staring up at the ceiling.
I’m all out of pain killers, I’m too much a felon to own a gun, so I suppose I will soldier on…
Loading comments...