1-5 in scarlet_dragon

The first Monday of the New Year. So far I got a letter in the mail from the old doctors office and it was a bill saying my account was past due. That’s funny because this is the first bill I received from them from an appointment that was in Aug of last year. Okay then. I hate starting off the year in medical limbo without a general doctors office. I looked at one place that’s about 20 mins away and the soonest appointment there is March 26th. Which I guess is better than the Aug or Sept quote of the last place. I just can’t imagine going even almost 4 months without a doctor. So I dunno. I have to have a sit down with the husband and we discuss some other ongoing things for the year.
My nephew (husband’s brothers son) is getting married in April. For the past 20 years when plans to visit them came up I also poo poo’d it and didn’t want to go. Now I’ve been expecting we were going to this but husband I think is a big not wanting to go. So I don’t know what to do. He blames it on not being able to sleep with other people in the room in a hotel room. I asked him if he had his own room if it’d be better. He’s not sure. I don’t know where the not sleeping with other people in the room came from anymore. I feel like he sometimes slips further and further into sealing himself off from everyone.
So we tabled the discussion but it’ll need to be decided rather quickly here.
I just hate that the only time he wants to talk or bring up discussions is when he’s in front of the computer ignoring everyone.
Oh well. He’s at the dentist right now. Son has PT here in a few hours and then work two hours after that. Son has also been acting weird today. Probably because it’s back to school tomorrow and this is the last day of “freedom” Possibly.
I’m going to take the time in the quiet here to try and start sorting through some of the paperwork in this computer room. I walk this line where if things are 100% clean and no clutter I then feel like it’s too sterile but when it’s this messy everything makes my brain hurt and I can’t function. SO I need to find a middle ground somewhere.
I’m awaiting bulk pickup here to come by and pickup some extra boxes and things we have by the road. I need to also offer up our old tv for free so it’s out of my garage.
I do understand when they say about how owning so many things its time consuming. I spend so much time setting things up, getting them to work, cleaning them, getting rid of them when they wear out, shopping for a replacement etc. It’s all too much most days.
We were driving home from picking up the son from work yesterday and it’s a short drive no more then usually 10 mins and within those 10 mins we passed by 4 different houses with mattresses sitting out by the road. I’m like what is going on here? Did everyone get new mattresses for Christmas or is there a bed bug outbreak I don’t know about. It was rather weird.
I think my next project needs to be to charge the old iPad and wipe it clean and send it off to be recycled. It’s not worth anything anymore I don’t see anyone buying a 10 year old iPad even for parts I’ve looked around so I guess I’ll just recycle it. The battery life was failing on it terribly anyways. I know if I don’t make myself do this task now I’ll just put it off until never.
I really do want this year to be better. Not as much negativity a better space to breathe in.
The bulk trash just went. I can’t even imagine the amount of trash they pickup the first run after the holidays. Ton’s of trees into the trash, decorations, new years crap, food, old worn out electronics anything and everything.
I feel like we did better then we had in previous years but there’s still room for improvement. I overate sweets for basically the entire months of Nov and December. So I’m really feeling like shit now. I also haven’t walked as much. I think last year I used the treadmill maybe 10-15 times if that. We went walking outside a lot up until Mid October and then it fell off. Husband keeps mentioning going running. It’s suppose to get warmer here for a few days. We both have a lot of work to do, me more so.
I didn’t make it as far as I had wanted into getting old entries copied over from Open Diary. It is what it is. I got the early stuff which I kind of enjoyed re-reading over the stuff once I feel into PPD and everything turned to shit and negativity in my writing.
Anyways, I should probably get going. Work on at least one area here. get something done. I’ll ttyl.