I grew up a fat kid. For the most part anyway. I think I went through a very brief, though inexplicable thin spell when I was in second and third grades and then I plumped up and assumed the role of fat kid from there on out. When I graduated from high school, I weighed a hardly fit nor trim 290 pounds. Standing at 5'9'' and weighing those 290 pounds, even Stevie Wonder could have seen then that I was fat. Sure, I liked to eat. Mom and Grandma were well aware of that too. They didn't think much of it. As far as they were concerned, I was just really healthy and they kept the food coming.
Here I am now, many, many years later and I will admit that I now have a very different relationship with food. That wasn't my doing. No, I have type II diabetes to thank for that. I don't complain, mind you. Maybe my coming down with diabetes was, in some way, a good thing?
Don't get me wrong. I still like food. I still liking eating. I also very much like eating sugar from time to time.
Anyway, I'm getting away from the original point of this entry.
This morning, I stopped at one of the many local area McDonald's for breakfast. I didn't necessarily intend to eat breakfast, but because today is Saturday, McDonald's was still serving breakfast when I got there at around 10:30am. During the week, McDonald's starts serving "lunch" at 10:30am. Today, I jumped the gun. I know why too. Being that I pretty much work seven days a week, it didn't occur to me that today was Saturday, so in my head, I treated today like any other week day. In doing so, I was relegated to eating lunch when I wasn't in the mood for it. Though I settled for the two Sausage McMuffin combo (as this would be enough of a meal to get me to dinner), complete with Dr. Pepper, that definitely was not what I wanted. I had intended to enjoy my obligatory annual McRib, but my timing was all screwed up. I need to think ahead apparently, especially when I have my stomach and appetite set on eating a particular something.
So, when I was fatter and had made food somewhat of a central focus in my life, that kind of mistake would have never ever happened. In my fatter and much larger days, I would have given some thought to lunch, planned ahead, and otherwise knew what the hell time it was. For just over the past three years, food has tended to be an afterthought for me. These days, I don't have much of an appetite. I tend to eat what some would consider to be very little, even for a man of my current size (roughly 270-ish). Those who knew me before see what I'm eating today and absolutely refuse to believe that I'm genuinely full when I'm finished eating. Truly, I am though. No one believes it until they see it. Even if I think in my head that I can eat like I used to, my stomach can't do it anymore and I don't try. It's not worth it.
Since August 2022, I've managed to lose about 30 pounds and keep that weight off. I'll be the first, second, and third person to tell people that I do not deserve any credit for doing anything special to do it, because in all honesty, I didn't.
In August 2022, I started taking Ozempic. Doctor's orders. I didn't ask to be put on it either. He admitted that he was putting me on Ozempic, not because I needed help with keeping my blood sugar down, but because he wanted me to drop a few pounds, which in turn, should help me to be healthier than I had been and maybe, just maybe, I could completely kick this diabetes altogether. My blood sugar has never been out of control and since I was first diagnosed, I made sure that I kept my blood sugar in check. In that regard, I've been a good little diabetic, though there was a stretch would I could no longer stand the taste of Coke Zero and I had reverted to drinking good old regular Coke. If you want to call that a relapse, be my guest.
So, in going back to today's lunchtime festivities, maybe I wasn't a good diabetic? That Dr Pepper I drank? It was a regular one, complete with sugar. I ate those McDonald's hash browns. I still like my bread, so I had no problem, nor discomfort, with eating those Sausage McMuffins, complete with those English muffins that nearly envelop the egg, cheese, and sausage patty. I mentioned that the McRib is one of McDonald's annual, seasonal items that tends to appear on the menu this time of year. One of the other seasonal items on the menu that I feel compelled to enjoy every year, diabetes or not, are those Holiday Pies, the ones that have the vanilla pudding in it. Sure, they taste good. They're seasonal. Beyond that, they're nothing special and I will admit that. Still, I had to get one. Those Holiday Pies, while flavorful, are not that big and are very much small enough to where I could have eaten that on the way home and finished it well before I got there. But no, I don't care for any of those McDonald's pies warm, so what I do is, I go home and put that thing in the refrigerator and let it get cold for a few hours. Once cold, then they're ready to be enjoyed.
In my head, being that I only bought and ate just the one Holiday Pie, I was mostly a good diabetic, because I know that I could have eaten a second, or even a third one. Even as I think about it now, I wouldn't have wanted a second or third one anyway. The one that I ate more than sufficed. Again, the stomach can only handle so much food these days.
I just finished that Holiday Pie a few moments ago and that's what prompted this entry.
Maybe I try again next weekend for that McRib?
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