I don’t want to say that I’ve given up, but I think that I’m done playing the game. Though the people themselves might be different, the outcomes that they bring are really all the same.
I’ve never been one to crave or desire attention. In the end, I’d prefer to remain in the dark. Away from the light, no matter how big or how small, not a conflagration nor a spark.
I’d prefer to be cold, because with warmth, I always seem to get burned. Let me open up for even a second, only in the end, I can expect to be spurned.
I tend to regret disclosing me and that which I am. I need to keep to myself and strongly adhere to that plan.
Whether by whisper or exclamation, I always doubt that I’m being heard. Paragraphs need not to uttered, not a syllable, not a word.
I’ll just save the breath and not even expel the energy. I’m not going to remind you that I’m here. Why would you ever give a fuck about me?
I don’t need your attention. I don’t want to be understood. Seems like they only come around, when they want my words to make them feel good.
I might give out compliments way too easily, thinking that it’s the right thing to do. Even if I think they might be accurate, this word vomit I need not spew.
I’ll keep my words and my heart to myself, because they don’t need to be on display. I need to return to dabbling in silence, because in the end, it’s just better that way.
I don’t need to be loved and I certainly don’t want to be reached. There’s nothing special or sacred about me. I just need a good cleansing, like I’m being dunked in a whirlpool of bleach.
That’ll wipe the slate clean, rid me of those who don’t deserve me and what I bring. They will no longer hear me talk and when they ignore me, it will no longer sting.
I will return to the hole from which I crawled out, go back to the world where I feel safe. Once back in the shadows, you won’t know that I once used to take up space.
You won’t see me or hear me. My words you’ll no longer feel. I won’t be any kind of weight or burden to you. I am well aware that I’m not a big deal.
I’ll find my peace and comfort soon enough, because it’s what I have to do. Into that sunset I shall go, and I do so without you.
Loading comments...