20 Minutes in A new beginning

  • Nov. 20, 2014, 2:52 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

This may be TMI for some people but I don’t know what is going on. This afternoon at work I started bleeding a little bit and eventually passed what looked like an embryo. I had some bad cramps with it and took ibuprofen but it wasn’t unbearable labor type pains. I had a chiropractic appointment right after work and Jesse picked me up and so I had to tell him and asked if he could pick up some pregnancy tests. I took one when I got home and it was negative. Not sure if it would still show up or not if I was pregnant. I have an IUD so I’m not sure if I should ask for a blood test. I’m not bleeding a lot anymore. I know the chances of pregnancy are extremely low with an IUD but I’ve never seen anything look quite like that before besides the tissue that expels naturally but it never looked like that. I bled a little bit last week too. I don’t ever get periods because of the IUD so I don’t know what this is all about. Anyone have any thoughts?

My body is so whacked out anyway. I received an awkward message from my rheumatologist this afternoon telling me that my tests came back normal and that “as of today your diagnosis is fibro. Have a great day!” Wth?? So basically because they can’t figure out what is wrong they are going to say I have fibromyalgia. I don’t think people that have fibro have swelling of their extremities. And I’m not obese either. I weigh 110 lbs. My chiropractor could see immediately that my pelvis is severely misaligned which he thinks is causing the back and neck pain. He said since I have so much going on pain wise that it will take a while to get it back into alignment. I’m hopeful that this is going to work. I have nothing to lose really.

I just came to a realization yesterday. I literally only see my husband for maybe 20 minutes a day. He comes home between 6:30-7:30 in the morning and then I go off to work and come home for lunch sometimes and then come home for good around 5:30 and he goes to sleep or is already asleep. I didn’t get home until almost 6 last night and found him passed out and Lilly laying on him watching a show on my kindle. I keep telling myself this isn’t forever and we just have to get through this until we are able to afford a house and if he took a day shift we would have to figure out affordable childcare and most likely wouldn’t be able to afford to keep saving for a house. I hate that we literally have NO help in the babysitter department. I didn’t realize when we had her that we would have no help from family. We have done everything for ourselves from day one. It is exhausting. Just got Lilly to sleep and just woke him up and he is out the door and we start the cycle all over again. He has Saturday and Sunday off but Saturday he will spend the majority catching up on sleep. I know one day we’ll look back at this and wonder how we even did it. Hell, I already think that. But for now, I guess we’ll get through each day like we have been, knowing that one day we will get to see each other for more than 20 minutes and it will be great. Or maybe we’ll just want to kill each other. Either one I suppose.


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