I'm new to boundaries and have only been making them consciously for a couple years lol. Being a previous people pleaser at its finest, setting boundaries has always been challenging for me.
Currently I am struggling with putting myself first. My emotions, my choices, my everything. For so much of my life I always put everyone else before me, and it looked many ways. I'd give my last pennies to someone I loved and go without because I didn't want them to, I let people drain me, abuse me mentally and physically, I would agree to do things I didn't want to do so people would want to be with me.
I've done a lot of not so smart things for a lot of not so smart reasons. I mean, I realize in this moment that a lot of it stemmed from things in my childhood that were missing or mishandled. I still sometimes find myself saying or doing things that I don't want to to uphold someone else's expectations. I shouldn't be upholding anyone's but my own and the rest is a beautiful addition.
My point is that I've done it for so long I'm finally learning to be comfortable with who I am, what I enjoy etc. It took me a very long time to get this way. To see that being me is the only way out of that. I have to love who I am and if other people don't, it's okay I love me enough that it doesn't matter. I've never felt that kind of secure and unconditional love for myself. I find myself experiencing life in so many new ways now also.
Learning to put myself first in order to have the life I want is challenging, but the more I do it...I see the changes. I see the results coming in. The world is a different place when you finally see that you are the most beautiful thing in it.
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