For the life of me, I can't understand why it is that everyone in my work group had chosen of late to treat Chortle like she was some kind of celebrity, especially when I continue to see her as the laziest person in the work group. I don't see the sudden appeal.
Last Friday, Chortle happened to come into the office (on her day off) and you would have thought that time had stopped, with the way that damn near everyone in the work group was inexplicably mesmerized by her unexpected arrival, with the way that everyone gathered around her and her cubicle and proceeded to sing her praises. One might have thought that they were witnessing firsthand the second coming of Jesus Christ himself. I didn't care and I didn't bother getting up. I remained at my desk and continued working. I don't pay any attention to Chortle during the week, when she is scheduled to be in the office, so why would I make any special effort to drool and fawn all over her just because she managed to find her way to the office on her day off?
Being that I tuned out Chortle and her followers, I have no idea as to why everyone was so enthralled with her. I still don't get it.
This morning, Gurney happened to come into the office just after 6:30am. I thought he was going to be working, but instead, he was putting together a birthday gift, all on company time. I didn't bother to turn around as he bid me a good morning, though I would respond to him with a nonchalant and monotone, "Morning". Just behind me, I could hear the sound of tape being ripped from a dispenser, as well as scissors tearing into a roll of gift wrap. I also smelled him possibly dousing whatever he was wrapping with some kind of unpleasant fragrance. I don't know what he was wrapping and honestly, I didn't care. What I could say is that it wasn't smelling very good over in his area.
Minutes later at 6:52am, one of the fatter office clerks happened to waddle over to the Gurney's desk, and proceeded to engage in conversation with him. For the purpose of this entry, I'll call this fat office clerk, "Manteca". Maybe Manteca made it a point to come in early today because she and the rest of the office's clerical staff never come in before 7am. Typically, only one clerk arrives at 7am and rest assured, Manteca is not that clerk. Lately, I've been seeing way too much of her (and I don't mean that because she's fat - that's way too easy of a joke to make) because dating back to last week, she has been making it a point to stop by our area and converse with Gurney. Typically, clerical staff usually have no reason to leave their desk because they're normally inundated with their own work and they don't have the time to socialize, at least not beyond with those in their immediate areas. Manteca makes that special trip though. I'd like to give her credit for making that trek from her desk to Gurney's cubicle, but I can't. I don't think she necessarily wanted to take those steps. Not long after greeting Gurney, she immediately starts talking about food, which as far as I can tell, is her normal. I started to tune her out when I then heard her ask why he happened to be in the office so early.
Gurney was putting together Chortle's birthday gift. Chortle's birthday is actually tomorrow (10/23), but he was getting her gift ready today because he was apparently going to be out the rest of the week. He goes on vacation all the time. This would be his second vacation since mid-June. His absence means the rest of my week should be considerably tolerable than it is when he is in the office. I have no idea what the gift was or what Gurney's final product looked like when he put it on her desk. I didn't care that much to look or even ask.
At just after 7am, Nessa comes in and sees what Gurney's doing. She gets involved in the pre-birthday festivities and proceeds to stop by my desk, carrying a folder in her hand. She gets my attention, which is not unusual when she comes in in the morning, as she and I typically exchange "good morning" and related early day well wishes. Rather than continuing on her way and walking past me, as she normally does, she stops at my desk. I remove my right ear bud, in preparation of a possible conversation. As she looked to present me with this folder, she tells me that inside of the folder was a birthday card for Chortle that I could sign if I wanted.
I whispered to her loud enough to where I hoped she could hear me.
No.
I don't know if she was surprised by my response, but I honestly didn't feel like signing a birthday card for someone I care nothing about or for whose birthday never appeared on my calendar. About 30 minutes later, Gloria comes by my cubicle and essentially does the same exact thing. My response did not change.
Now just after 8am, when Chortle finally comes into the office, everyone greets her, not unlike the way they did this past Friday. Before she has chance to sit down, though after she saw her birthday gift at her desk, the work group sings "Happy Birthday" to her. I could hear them, as I remained at my desk. I did not partake. I don't feel guilty for not doing so. I just did not care.
I wanted nothing to do with those birthday festivities and I certainly did not want to financially contribute to whatever her gift turned out to be. My money would be best spent elsewhere.
Maybe I did a poor job of hiding it, because some time later, Gloria returned to my desk and asked me how I was doing. I told her in my typical calm and even tone:
I'm good.
In all honestly, I was irritated. I wasn't going to say it to her, but I think that Gloria could see it on my face that I was not happy. Indeed, I wasn't. All I was just trying to do was get my work done. Whatever quiet I was able to to enjoy would be destroyed just after 6:30am when Gurney came in and then when Manteca oozed on by just before 7am.
I left the office just after 8:30am and decided to work from home the rest of the day. I wanted nothing to do with celebrating birthdays for people I care nothing for and I wasn't in the mood to pretend that I cared.
I didn't care and I still don't.
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