The sun may be out, but my head is too dark to fill the warmth.
I want to get out of here - I NEED to get out of here.
A called a close friend of mine a few nights ago. We poorly planned an idea of traveling through Europe in the early months of 2026.
But first, I need a job to save up for it.
I don’t think Europe would magically cure my ailments but it would allow me to get away from this facade that I’ve created.
I used to believe that it was highly beneficial to create a false version of myself to people. I suddenly enjoyed everything they enjoyed and I never told them about my interests or allowed myself to be authentic with them.
There have been only a handful of people in my life that I could say that I could and did allow myself to be my true self. But they’re all strangers now. Gone like the wind.
This false portrayal of myself I think only added to me being self-conscious, depressed, etc…
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