i miss you in i wish i told you this

exactly what the title says. i miss you and it hurts. i’m eating at a nice dinner with my family and during this time i would usually message you about the yummy food we ate and how i’d wish you could try this with us. i’m going to miss sending you photos of my food—and of course you’d reply with “sarapppp” (yummy in filipino), and you’d tell me how proud you are that i’m eating a lot. people always tell me i deserve better than someone like you, that i shouldn’t settle for anything less than what i get from my friends and family. i know i’m very spoiled. but i’m just scared no one else will love me as sincerely as you do. i’m afraid no one else will have the patience to deal with me. you didn’t have much to give—time, distance, and finances were your worst enemies. but somehow you make do with what’s there. you would give up every last bill in your wallet for me. you would risk losing sleep and failing a quiz for me (you don’t though, you’re still top of your class). it sucks that this time apart is what’s best. it sucks that i still feel like you’re the right person but it’s just not the right time for us. i hate that this restaurant is playing all the songs that remind me of you—of us. i hate that i miss you. one day maybe i’ll stop missing you but that just seems like a distant reality.