Loneliness of a long distance Grandma. in Soul Journey

I just need to start journalising again.
How do I honestly feel. Isolated and alone. Yet certainly not lonely. I never get phone calls and I never see anyone. it is my fault I know that. Because I dont reach out. But i am so tired all the time just wanting to sleep. I cant get off the couch and I know this is no good for my health both mental and psychical.
So what do I need to to do. Well I know what I should do but I have no motivation to do anything at all. Walk he dog is my main got to. i am so aware of ageing and yet to compared to others I am quite fine. I exercise, do my weights. Have discovered the benefits of Q Ong, online Once I get back to the Skys I will feel a little better. I am going to try this bible study with Mala and hang on to the Lord for help and guidance. But my heart isn’t in it at all. Oh well I will keep on keeping on. Knowing my crazy self I will probably feel full of beans tomorrow.