If I poured my soul into art, would you appreciate it?
I live for art. Growing up, I’d save my allowance, Christmas, and birthday gifts, just so I could buy supplies. I remember crunching coins just so I could afford my favorite paint brands. I’d spend entire weekends sketching, painting, and crafting. Not to sell, but to express what I felt.
Eventually, I got really good that people were hiring me for short projects. I even got lucky to be featured in an exhibit and people actually bought my art. I was literally on cloud 9. However, as I got into college, it demanded more time and commitment to just even survive. For 5 years, I put my tools on the shelf and shifted focus on finishing school.
I promised myself:
“just get through the next few years”
“just to get this degree”
“so I can get a decent job....
…and be able to afford more supplies”
“then one day, I can take slow afternoons getting lost in the process of making art..”
However, 8 years later and it still hasn’t happened.
Something always came up..
…my mom needing an operation
…my brother needing help to finish school
…my dad getting laid off
…a close friend getting married
Something more important always came that required me to step in and help them out. Which means I was constantly working atleast 2 jobs to support them. Leaving me constantly tired and no time for anything else.
After several years, I finally had enough of delaying my own dreams and prioritizing someone else’s needs. For once, I wanted to be selfish and make my own “wants” happen.
So for my birthday last weekend I spent it alone with my partner with one request.
“Can I please lock myself in a private space?”
He found it to be a weird request, but bless his heart, he made it happen.
We rented an airbnb at a great location. The entire weekend all he did was prepare our meals and clean up. He let me do as I please. Which meant watching all Hunger Games movies and reruns of FRIENDS while completing a 1000pcs puzzle. When I got bored, I stayed at a different corner to read my book. Or just pass out on the couch.
He didn’t pressure me to “celebrate” my birthday or to have any big activity. He didn’t even push me to talk. He let me do whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it.
And I suppose that felt liberating for me - to do things outside of what my planner dictates.
Then I felt it .... I started to crave for art.
So in the spur of the moment I bought a tablet for digital drawing. In support of my dreams, my partner even bought me tons of sets of paint, crafting materials, and drawing pads. Since then, I felt this rush of excitement running through my body. My head keeps flashing with ideas and concepts I want to put into paper.
What’s my hesitation?
Income. I want to get to a point where my passion can support my daily living even just for a bit. I’m not needing it to be grand, but just enough to not rely on multiple jobs at a time.
Which brings me to my first question…
If I poured my soul into art, would you appreciate it?
Would you like it? Say something positive? Share it to a friend?
Would you considering supporting an aspiring artist?
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