Becoming more & more unlikable.
When I think about who I was as a kid, I don’t like that kid. That kid was annoying, talked way too much, embarrered herself, and overshared. The teenager me, sucked, was shy, anxious and socially awkward, pushover. Maybe somewhere in early 20’s I would have had a few good years…I found some balance in life, did well in school, got better with new people. I’m turning 27 soon, and I can’t helo but feel like I’m becoming the worst version of myself I can be.
Declining Self-worth
I have had the lowest self-worth, and no confidence in myself, in my skills or in my ability to find myself a partner. And how can I not? I don’t have a job. I graduated a year ago and I’m still looking for a fucking job, I did well in college? I though I had the talent? I know I should just believe in myself and hope this will pass..but right now, I can’t stop but talk poorly about myself, and can’t help but think how annoying that would be for people around me. I hate that, I hate when my friends talk like that about themselves that way and can’t see what I see.
My mental health is BAD. and no, i don’t have money for therapy, I just lost my part time job that I had to survive in a foreign country, and now I’ll need to depend on my parents. Maybe I should just go back home, accept defeat, but I can’t yet. I wanna try till the end, but I feel like such a loser. I go on dates and I can;t help but feel why would they want to be with someone like me.
What’s the truth?
Maybe the problem is I think I should be doing AMAZING in life because I’m a TALENTED person, but thats a lie, and truth hurts..the truth that I’m just, average, maybe even below average. And if I were to accept that maybe life will not feel so exhausting.
Have anyone of you gone through anything like this? Will these hard times pass or do people just say it to people who have it rough to just make them feel better?
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