Ya know what? If I could go back to any time of my life I would go back to when I was 13. Sure my mom was abusive but everyone was alive then.
My dad died when I was 14 of a heart attack. I miss him dearly to this day. I was definitely a daddy’s girl. Plus he was my protector too. It was rough losing my dad but it was much worse losing my brother and sister.
My brother was disabled and through out the years his health got worse. My sister died of cancer. It’s like one day she was fine and once she got diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer she died 2 weeks later.
My brother on the other hand had a slow death. His esophagus quit working and he had to have a feeding tube for almost 2 years. Then when he started aspirating on his feeding tube food things just went down hill from there.
When my mom died I wasn’t as upset. She was not a nice woman to me or my brother. I do forgive her and we did have some good days (very few). I held her hand when she took her last breath (did the same for my brother). I do miss her sometimes....that’s shocking to me.
I grieve for all them. I’d do anything to just see them again. Even if it’s just for one day.
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