Its cold here, like +3 or something here today. I’m listening to Tegan & Sara, its reminding me of visiting my friend in Victoria the summer between Joel and Tim. It was like that transition week. She opened my mind to a lot of things, and it was a great week. We drank wine on the roof of her apartment building, rode bikes around Victoria, tried to surf in Tofino, and all in all made good memories. I can definitely say that week was a transformational week of my life. Thats when I finally turned the corner to actually learning about buddhism and was first exposed to affirmations and mantras. Affirmations are a huge part of my “happy plan” now. I don’t know that I believe all the laws of attraction things like in the Secret. I do know that mantras and affirmations work for me, if only because they remind me of my goals, and make me more conscious of what I’m working towards. They also help me refocus when I’m in negative thought spirals.
That was a good summer that year (2011).
Now I’m wishing I was sitting in an empty cafe somewhere with my notebook and a pen and my ipod playing Tegan & Sara. Writing. I wrote a little bit last night but my brain was pretty scattered and fried.
I was thinking on the weekend again about how I want to be self employed eventually. I want to be able to get up a little later in the mornings. Answer emails from my couch in sweats and with tea. And then sit in cafes to work if I feel like it. And make my own schedule. Photography. I need to work out how to make this photography thing into a fulltime business. I need to figure out where I want to go with it, and what sacrifices (types of shoots) I’m willing to make in order to make it viable.
And of course these things are all on my mind when I’m at the office. When I get home I’m busy with house things, or too tired to think. I need a week off, with no one around, to sit and figure things out.
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