The 10% in Self Destructive

10% of people with BPD take their own lives.
That 10% of people with BPD felt so much pain, so much anguish, and all they could do to end it, was to end it.
I’m afraid I’m going to become part of that 10%. I find myself struggling more and more as time passes on, I find myself fantasizing, dreaming about the end.
It’s constantly there. It never abates. It swells, and grows. I feel consumed by my pain, the guilt, the desire to die.
I don’t want to become part of the 10%, but I don’t know if I’m going to make it to the end.