Landlord has been repairing and replacing one of the water pipes below the building which meant the water was shut off at 7 AM this morning. He’d hoped to have it back by 4PM but here it is after 8 and nothing. He did text us several days in advance and updated us a couple times throughout the day but it’s still annoying. However it affects him, too, since he lives in the building.
Wednesday night-yesterday morning was bad. Haven’t been getting much sleep as it is, and I got about 30 minutes from 7:20 in the morning until about 7:50 AM. Then I just couldn’t go back to sleep. Cori woke up around 11. We had meant to go to the zoo but first of all the forecast said it was supposed to rain all day (it didn’t rain at all) and second, I was too tired. Around noon I went to pour myself some cereal, an ordeal that ended with me on the floor, passed out for a few seconds, having dropped the open box of soymilk on the floor, leaking about 80% of its contents.
So I wasted the whole day, a rare day where Cori didn’t have school or work. Then I brought up a couple things to him that were on my mind (mostly TMI stuff that I would only go into in the PB book I have set aside for such things) and although he was calm and logical as always, I started letting my emotions get the best of me. Aside from being intensely exhausted that I could barely move, I was also homesick and angry that I let the day go to waste, missing my dog, missing my cat (who died nearly a year ago… I thought for sure he would be around another 3-4 years), upset that I probably can’t go home for Thanksgiving or Christmas… among other things. And due to another discrepancy on Cori’s part, I found out something after I came back from Virginia in late September and brought that up.
But I let my emotions go, more so than usual. I started sobbing and crying and ended up saying something brash and possibly vulgar to Cori, then went back to the bedroom. He followed me, laid on the bed with me with his hands around me and didn’t say anything, letting me cry it out. He said later he was mad at me but couldn’t just abandon me, especially given how I’d passed out from exhaustion only a few hours previous.
I don’t even know that it was an argument. It was mostly me talking and him listening. It was me being out of control and him being his damn calm, collected self. And then when it came time to go to bed, I still had trouble even though I was beyond exhausted. I kept him awake. I rehashed the stuff from earlier, not feeling like it had gone anywhere. Then I just lost it and chugged nearly an entire bottle of wine, not in an attempt to quell my emotions, but in an attempt to force myself to sleep. He followed me, took the bottle, put it in the fridge and led me back. Within minutes I felt dizzy, sick, and nauseated. But about 20 minutes later I slept, sleeping about a total of 5 hours, which sounds like a freaking luxury now that I think of it.
I do love him. Maybe I’ll go into things in another entry in the other book. It’s nothing enormous and we are still getting along great. I think I just bottled it all and let it come out at a bad time. But when all was said and done, he didn’t let me storm off to the futon to sleep alone. He cradled me until I fell asleep.
~Rachel
P.S. Seems ridiculous of me to say nothing; mom had her second knee replacement surgery today ! I hope she recovers better from this one than the last one… She meant to have the second one done around April or May and it had to be pushed back because of her progress (or lack of). Thank goodness she went to another doctor who finally took the time to figure out the problem and get her back, literally, on her feet.
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