In June 2021, I hit rock bottom. I landed myself on a 72 hour psychiatric hold due to my behavior. It was the wake up call that I needed to get myself help and get on the right track. I had been in a relationship for the prior 6 months, and I was lied to the entire time. I don’t blame him for me hitting rock bottom, but the events of that relationship definitely triggered the downward spiral.
When I got out of the hospital, I told myself that I was done looking for someone to share my life with and I was just going to have fun. Looking back, I was trying to cover and heal wounds with anything that would pay me any attention. It was toxic and it wasn’t healthy at all.
One of my best friends hosts a Halloween party every year, and we always got “tore up” at these parties, and 2021 wasn’t going to be any different. I decided that I was going to go as “fat Harley Quinn” I had bleached my hair prior to that and was wearing 24 inch extensions every day, and was feeling myself.
The day of the Halloween party, I had my friend JS do my makeup. I can do my own makeup, but she is exceptionally better at it. I wanted the black and red outfit that Harley wore look. I had one black eyeshadow eye and one red, and the bright red lips, the whole shebang. We obviously posted photos and videos to various social media platforms all night, including Snapchat. I’ve had issues with people trying to add my friends from being tagged in snaps prior to this date, and it has always irked me. I randomly got a friend request on Snapchat from a guy I had no clue who was, so I asked everyone there who he was since it said he added me off of tags. Turns out JS knew him and he was adding me from her tag on a photo of us. I asked her about him and told her I was going to add him to cuss him out for randomly adding me lol. She told me to be nice, he was a good guy. So I told her to tell me about him. She told me that he was a little older than me, had 3 grown kids, used to be a K9 officer, got divorced about 4-5 years prior and that he had just moved back home. So me, being drunk as hell, said what the hell and added him!
He immediately started snapping me and saying all the right things that every girl wants to hear. Typical male behavior. I wasn’t expecting much and figured he would end up ghosting in a few days so I didn’t put much thought into it.
This man kept messaging me. ALL DAY AND NIGHT LONG. I kept putting off meeting him bc I was scared. I had a history of meeting people and then never hearing from them again. Well, I was having a bad day the following Saturday, at work … with JS and AW. All a sudden the jail called and told us that someone was there with flowers for dispatch. I figured it was for them, they were both in healthy happy relationships. JS went and retrieved the flowers from the delivery guy and walked in and looked at me and said “uhhh these are yours” My jaw hit the floor. There sat the most beautiful bouquet of red roses I had seen in a long time, with a red cheetah print bow on them. The card said “just wanted to make you smile and hope your day gets better” and signed from Mr. Snapchat. He had told me earlier in the day that he was going to the deer woods so his service would be spotty throughout the day … so this man went hunting, and while out there, called and got me flowers … it was honestly the sweetest thing that anyone had ever done for me. I knew then that I had to meet him.
I went to my best friends house that night to watch Yellowstone, and of course was talking to him all night as well, and my friend and her wife were telling me to bite the bullet and just meet him and see where it goes. Sooo I asked if he wanted to meet up when I was on my way home from our weekly Yellowstone watch. He agreed!
We met at a gas station that was about halfway between both of our houses at the time, and hung out until 330 in the morning. Just talking and listening to music. We both had to be at work at 6am, and time had just gotten away from us. There was something in his eyes. I could immediately tell he was different than anyone I had ever met before. I wanted to spend more time with him and didn’t want to go home. But, work.
We were both obviously exhausted the next day, and the day after that I went back to my full time job where I worked nightshift. When I texted him that I was awake for the day, he told me that he took off work early and asked if he could see me before I went to work. So I got ready and we met just outside of town about an hour before I went to work. He was really trying. HE wanted to keep seeing me and hanging out with me!! WHO WAS THIS MAN?!?!!?
We met face to face the first time on November 6 2021, and have been inseparable ever since. On December 25, 2021 we got our first house together, and we found out our daughter was on the way on January 17, 2022. Some people will say that we moved way to fast, but I say, when you know, you know.
He is the most hardworking, loving partner and father. He’s not toxic at all. When I say we have only had 2 fights our entire relationship, I’m not even joking. He has never raised his voice at me, even when we were fighting. He has never called me anything derogatory. I honestly could not ask for a better relationship.
He has 3 boys from his previous marriage, and they are all grown. 21, 23, and 26. The boys are some of the most respectful young adults that I have ever been around, and they are the best big brothers. I was so scared for them to find out that we were having a baby. Scared they would hate me. Scared they wouldn’t want anything to do with her, and they have beyond surpassed anything I could have ever imagined.
He’s a simple country boy. He’s happiest in the woods, on some back road or at the river fishing, and just hanging out with his family. He doesn’t drink. He doesn’t party. He wants no part of it. He works, and he provides us the life that I could only dream of having. He’s a deputy sheriff, at the department I was working at part time. It’s funny, because before he left his old department and took a break from police work, he worked in a city in the county I worked for, and we’re both pretty sure we had heard each other on the radio way back then, obviously can’t confirm it, but he worked nights and I worked nights at the time. In addition to working at the Sheriff’s Office, he works every Friday and Saturday doing off duty security. He busts his ass to make sure that Mila and I have everything we need, and he has made it possible for me to be a stay at home mom this year.
As I sit here typing this, I look over and see him snuggling with out baby girl, both asleep on the couch … It brings tears to my eyes. I often need to pinch myself and ask if this is really my life now? I realize that everything I went through in my past, led me to where I am today. With a family of my own, and being truly happy.
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