New, Nothing Monday, April 29, 2013
My whole family was basically at the house today.
They all came after Jess's baby shower. Baby Bryce is on his way. Another Nephew. I wonder If i will ever have kids.
I feel really uncomfortable around my family. I feel so ashamed of the past year of my life. I hate to answer their questions. What are you doing next? GED? Military?
Also, After five years of being just me and my mom and barely seeing anyone in my family I am a little bitter. Maybe I am being over-dramatic but I don't think so. Me and my mom had an extremely up and down relationship. They expect me to just embrace a family like its normal. To me a big family isn't normal. They wonder why I stay in my room all the time.I had no real friends that I hung out with outside of school. I was always socially awkward.
They expected me to just be normal. They knew me five years ago. A twelve year old to a seventeen year old. Kind of a big difference. Again I think I have some good points. Not being overdramatic. I could go on and on. But I don't feel like typing a novel. At least not tonihght.
Its because I am used to being by myself. Alone. I kind of like it that way. I don't like dumb corny small talk.
Of course also, I don't know how I can face Jaime. I feel so bad. And of course Laura. I am a coward sometimes.
Just so ashamed of myself. If I think about it for too long I freak out.
Luckily I had work. I didn't have enough of a heads up before hand to call off. Oh well Kind of better this way. My grandparents did stop by to say hello. Grandma seemed really sad that she couldn't see me long but otherwise happy. Papou seemed cheerful as always.
Papou is one of my favorite people ever. For the record.
I can't believe the Warriors are up 3-1 on the nuggets. Wow.
I hope more of the stuff I bought on Amazon comes in the mail. I need to read some of the books I bought. I am trying to read Percy Jackson. They're alright. But I think I am a bit old for It by now. I'm eighteen, come on now. It doesn't catch my interest as much as it would have a couple years ago. But I will still end up finishing the series. Thats How I am.
I want a huge library one day. Books, DVD's music etc. Maybe Art. Not sure. Their are still some books I haven't read that are on my shelves right now. I gotta get reading. Not that I'm neccesarily complaining. I love books.
Well I'm probably gonna browse online aimlessly for awhile then fall asleep
I"M OFF TOMORROW WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Well thats It for now. If I wrote down everything that was on my mind I'd be writing forever.
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