Nothing on my mind Friday, April 19, 2013
I have come to the conclusion that I am an awful person. I am a very lazy. I hate to work. I dread it everyday. I blame my mother. she gave me the worst trait she could have instilled into someone.
Ambitions. High, unattainable goals. Dreams.
Ahhhhh I am getting too old to be complaing about how awful my life, and the world, is.
So here I lay in my bed wasting time. Almost 6 A.M. listening to music. Yelawolf at this particular moment. Firestarter to be specific.
Once I fall aslep I wil be forced awake by Gracie (my niece) yelling that I have to watch her while Amanda takes David to school.
I really like this site. I find it very romantic looking at peoples pages and some going back ten or more years ago and they are still on here. Some stop for a couple years at a time and come back. So cool.
Its amazing that they remember their password. I suppose they could just hit "forgot password?" but still..
My sort of brother Adam gets married in three weeks to Jaime. Don't get me started on my insane family.
I am happy for Adam and Jaime but I hate big crowds and dressing up and what-not and this wedding is going to be all out. Stupid corny small talk people asking about my life and shit. I am kind of ashamed to talk about myself.
High school dropout. Go me. huhhh I have nobody to blame but myself. I hated my high school. Work 4-11. YAY. At mcdonald's.
Living the dream. With a bright future ahead of me.
PSYCH.
I am such an idiot. My life has completely taken a 180 this past year. All my fault. Nobody to blame.
Maybe I'll hit the lotto.
Everytime I get a flashback of my screw-ups Its like ripping off a scab that never gets a chance to heal. I am not sure what to do anymore.
At least I can escape during sleep. I could use a blunt. But I can't go back down that road. Nothing wrong with weed but I proved to myself I can't really control myself..
God I gotta get my shit together. I need some willpower. Motivation. Take action not talk about it.
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