Hey, its been a long time. Just so you’re aware, everything still sucks and i want to die now more than ever. These past few years have been nothing but one failure after another. and i dont think i can take it anymore. Why is life nothing but pain? Am i really that bad of a person that i deserve to hurt this bad? I just want to die, and sooner rather than later.
I dont understand the point in this, i was brought into this world of torture and for what? For me to be tortured too? its not my fault i was born. What is there to live for these days? My asshole of a father who psychically abused me as a child, my mother whos narcissistic and has suffocated me my entire life, my brother who also psychically abused me for a decade with attempted murder. I got bullied at school and i get made fun of in the work place no matter what job im at, people dont like me and i dont know why, i always do things for other people. And they still dont want to be my friends, At school i was just too fat and weird, has nothing changed, will no one ever be there for me like i am for them. I thought being myself was a good thing, am i too traumatised? Did it really happen? Will i ever be free of this pain? Or am i subject to a life of misery and exile from everyone ive ever cared for.
I want to die, and im scared.
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