I barely lasted a week before I had to come see you. Quarterly visits won’t work. I want you. I want to feel your cheek against mine. I want to kiss the corner of your smile. I want your tongue in my mouth. I want to feel you pressing your ass up against me as I kiss your neck. I want to lay on your chest as you rub your fingers through my hair. I want to hear your laugh in person. I want to watch your facial expressions change with the thoughts running through your head. I know there is a part of you that expects that desire to fade with time but all I can do is hope my effort helps to quiet your fears. I will drive as far and as much as I need to see you, even if it is just for a couple of hours. That is as much for my love of you as it is for my need to see and experience you personally. Squeezing that impossibly strong yet delicate body in my arms and a kiss from your lips is worth 16 hours of driving, and that is no exaggeration. And I want you to know it is no exaggeration because you will see me to do it over and over again.
We’ve found and chosen each other. I am yours. You are who I want to share my life and experience this world with. I can’t see boredom in our future. There are too many days I haven’t experienced with you. There are too many sunrises and sunsets to share. You are special. And I can’t ever see myself not appreciating it, appreciating you for the joy and love you bring into my life. Ultimately, my words are just words. I’m sure you’ve heard enough promises. I hope my actions speak louder than any sweet nothings ever will. The only thing I would put above you are my children and if I raise them right, with your insightful input, they’ll leave and they won’t need me the same. When that day comes, I want you to be there.
To put it plainly, you are it. There are no reservations or back-up plans. I’m not holding anything back for safety. I’m not protecting myself with any pessimism. My guard is down. You have full access. Any delicate and hidden piece of me you want to explore is yours. In the same vein, there is no part of yourself I would reject. I love you as a complete human being. The parts you love and dislike, what is open for the world to see and what’s hidden, the light and the dark. Any part of yourself that you want to share with me will only be enveloped with acceptance and love.
That conversation that happens in your head occurs in mine as well. Different conversation but the same issue, staying in the moment versus intrusive thoughts interfering with staying present. I worry about performing, getting you to orgasm, going soft after multiple rounds, how you’ll feel if I don’t finish, how you are feeling, and just not having enough to pull of certain positions. I understand the dilemma. I still immensely enjoy myself, but I do understand the running mental commentary that can sometimes interfere with that.
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