I'm full of rage today. I can feel it boiling deep, down there.
I want to be divorced and move pass this already. I know it's going to drag itself out. I know I'll have to listen to Steve playing victim the whole fucking time. Talking to him is a gigantic waste of time. So I'll vent here.
You are NOT a fucking victim. This marriage did get shitty. But accept that you were an active participant already. Stop acting like because you have a job you are proud of and make money you are untouchable. I'm so tired of hearing it. I'm tired of you being here being a lazy piece of shit. I am so angry you pulled the guilt card to be let back in house by my dad, but blew your whole fucking paycheck. Go away already!
Fuck. Seriously. Rage. I scheduled my certification test for thursday, and I plan on passing that shit. I'm calling nursing home immediately to tell them I finally got it. My first paychecks will get me closer to unstuck.
I don't even want another serious relationship anytime soon. I crave being alone for a while. Something I haven't had much of in this lifetime.
Things are dead with Steven. I'm okay with that, I guess. I'm NOT okay with taking all the responsibility of it being my fault that it is over.
I wish I never met him. I really do. Very, very little good came from being with him.
Grr. I'm so freaking pissed off.
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