I don’t know a good way to communicate with you, and although a temporary situation, this perhaps will serve as a long form of communication even if one sided in an innocuous open forum in the interim. Check as you can, please, or will. Everything here will be for you whether you read it or not.
Today was hard. Hearing goodbye was heart breaking even if temporary. I did a lot of thinking earlier and came to the conclusion it can’t be anything else but love because I’d never let someone break my heart twice and you have unlimited access my dear. That’s a choice, my choice with my eyes wide open. P shattered my world once and that was all she got. I would never let her do it twice. I don’t even feel anything when I look at her except regret that she isn’t who I once thought she was. But you could break my heart today and break it again next year and break it again five years from now. It wouldn’t change how I feel about you because I know it would never be out of malice. I can’t imagine looking at you any differently.
I also can’t imagine loving another woman the same. It inconceivable to imagine even trying to enter another relationship knowing that you will always get priority. Just an email, text, or call could shatter whatever illusion I could possibly build. So I’ll sit and wait for you. And my dear it is fucking hard, but I would never do anything to purposely make your life harder. So I sit, and wait, and love.
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