So, a bit of background: I had my first boyfriend this year and we lasted three months, but then there were so many rumours about him sending dick pics to girls on snapchat and I snapped and broke up with him.
This is what I sent him: “Look , but i cant do this anymore. I really dont like hiding this from people and im hearing way too many bad things about you and i never know if they are true or not. But they are things that really wouldn’t surprise me. I dont want to date a guy that has a bad reputation. And you can be so, so clingy sometimes and i need my space. And i know that i was clingy at times as well, but ive been trying to keep my distance. Id be okay with being friends with you, but i dont entirely want to be your girlfriend anymore. Im sure you’ll be able to find a girl that is okay with the reputation that you currently have. I also don’t want the reputation that you have associated with me. Sorry again :/”
I’ve been doing pretty good with not thinking about him since I broke up with him about a month ago. But then I realized I had to tell him he isn’t helping with a club thing cause I didn’t want to deal with him. So I texted him about two hours ago for the first time in a month. He has a new girl now, but I’m still single. I haven’t checked my phone yet, as I’m absolutely terrified to do so.
And then, I was just on pinterest and found a thing and it would give you an album to listen to based off of your deepest darkest insecurities. And some of the questions were like this:
pick a reason to break up with somebody
Answers, please choose 1
they don’t “get” me
they remind me of my ex (I chose this one)
we’re never intimate with the lights on because i’m terrified of them seeing my body
it just isn’t working out/ we’re too different
they don’t really love me
they don’t respect my boundaries
when was the last time you felt seen? when was the last time you felt held?
Answers, please choose 1
i rarely let anybody that close. i’m terrified of being “seen”
i’ve never felt that way, not really
fuck you i’m crying
during my current/ last relationship (I chose this one)
when i was a child. i miss feeling truly “held” the most
i have never felt seen, but i felt held not too long ago
The first question made me pause even though my ex was wonderful, but it hurts to see people like him. And the second one made me sob.
I dunno. If you guys want more details, just ask me.
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